I have had several people ask me how I’m doing lately including some friends, family, and doctors. However, the problem is that I don’t know how I feel. I’m not sure if I’m sad and depressed, angry, frustrated, overwhelmed, fearful, lonely, or anxious. Maybe I’m all of those emotions combined. I know I’m not happy, but that’s about all I know. It’s very strange to be full of emotions, but not be able to pinpoint what any of those emotions are.
When people ask me how I’m doing, I just say I’m fine or I’m okay. It’s so much easier than trying to figure out how I’m really doing. Plus, most people don’t want to hear what’s really going on. The only problem with that, is my therapist wants to know how I’m doing, and I struggle to figure it out when I have therapy appointments.
I’ve thought about using a mood tracking app, but they all ask you questions regarding how you’re feeling and how much you feel each emotion. Since I have no clue what I’m feeling, it makes that extremely difficult. I suppose I’ll have to wait on the mood tracker until I’m able to determine how I really feel.
I’m pretty sure that this is all a part of my depression. It’s another problem to work through, and I will get through it, eventually.
My Side of the Pole 
This is exactly how i feel, and i really like the way you say that you will eventually get through it, i wish i had that much will!
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I believe that one of the few good things about dealing with a bipolar diagnosis is that no matter how horrible I feel, I know it won’t last forever. I will have ups and downs all the time; I will switch from depression to manic and back again. It’s rough, but at least I know there will be some changes in my emotions.
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You are such a positive soul.. will you mind if i say i love you.. because i do (i am a female too).. you are such an inspiration.. i have not been diagnosed because i never had the courage to talk to anyone..but i believe i have bipolar too through online tests i guess.. m sorry i just felt like saying it!
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At least you’re speaking up now to someone. You can see a doctor when you’re ready. It’s hard, but it’s definitely worth it. I don’t feel like a positive person. My mind goes negative first and then I can see the positive side. I tend to talk/write my way through problems. The only reason I can be positive is because of the support from friends, family, and this network of bloggers. I wish you the best of luck.
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I dont feel i will ever be able to see a doctor, I am just a teen whose parents dont believe in depression. They just feel that its a phase and i will get through! I guess i am really speaking up, am i annoying you? Please tell me if i am! By the way i am really grateful thanks for listening to me!
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I’m sorry you are going through a rough time. There is a lot of good information and support on the International Bipolar Foundation at http://www.ibpf.org and the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance at http://www.dbsalliance.org. I wish I knew what to tell you. The only thing I can think of is to use your blog to express yourself. I have found that to be very helpful for me.
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If you’re on meds, sometimes feeling anything at all is difficult. Hope things get better soon. I’ll be following you. Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks. You’re right, even though meds help, they do cause problems like this at times.
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