Sometimes, I wish I was hypomanic. I know that sounds bad, but I’ve been dealing with depression and suicidal ideations for so long, it would be nice to have a change. I don’t want to be in a complete manic episode with the negative effects such as uncontrollable spending or impulsive actions. I want hypomania, where I have enough energy so I can get everything done that needs to be done. In my hypomanic state, I’m energetic, I come up with a lot of ideas, I’m sociable (which normally scares me), and I feel happy. It would be nice to feel like that for a few days. I know it’s not healthy, but I’m so tired of depression that I would do just about anything to take a break from it.

I’ve been feeling like this and hoping for hypomania for several months now. I’m just curious if there are other people who feel the same way. I’m just wondering if I’m alone in this train of thought. I swing from one episode to another without much of a break to enjoy life. Is it so bad to desire a break from it all? My hypomania is pretty much a break because I’m able to enjoy most of it. Do others desire any specific episode?

I'm a 32 year old married woman who has been dealing with Bipolar disorder since the age of 14. This is all about my life, diagnoses, and treatments. If you have any questions, just ask me. I hope that others with Bipolar Disorder or PTSD can relate to my blog and find it helpful.

18 thoughts on “Wanting a Hypomanic Break”

  1. I’ve been editing pictures of my sisters wedding for her and I’ve been in a depressive episode for awhile. I wish I were hypomanic because I feel like I would be more creative with her pictures, that I would be pounding them out faster. I also look around me and see that my house isn’t as tidy as it would be if I weren’t in a depressive episode. You’re not alone in your wants.

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  4. Being depressed and feeling like I’m dragging myself to do everything really sucks, so I’m right there with you. I’d love hypomania. If only we could pick and choose which symptoms so that it doesn’t get out of hand. Alas, it does not work that way.

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  5. I too prefer hypomania. For me, it’s very seasonal. In summer, I tend to become more hypomanic–going to the beach a ton, being the life of the party, ready to go! But, towards fall, I slam into a big, brick wall and don’t come crawling out until spring. I am not one of those fall lovers–pumpkins and whatever–because they are harbingers of long naps and lethargy.

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    1. I find it interesting that your episodes change with the seasons. I know a few people like that. My episodes are all over the place. Do you find it easier to manage your episodes with the changing seasons?

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      1. I bought one of those UV lights for my office to use during winter. That helps somewhat. Last summer I was hypomanic followed by severe depression in the fall and beginning of winter with suicidal ideations. My grandmother died in February, so this year’s hypomania was tempered by astounding grief–I thought it might help to actually go into hypomania, but I basically just went into a bit of numbness. The only peace I got was being near the water. As the seasons change, I am feeling the pull back downward, but I am practicing mindfulness and meditation like a fiend (I become “addicted” to everything). It seems to be helping, though. There is a bit less self-judgement layered on top of taking care of myself. I also went ahead and upped my mood stabilizer because I could feel myself slipping. I long for sunlight. Even several days of rain will put me in bed.

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