At my therapy appointment, we came to the realization that I put others ahead of myself. If someone wants to do something, I almost always do it, even if it’s not what I want or if it causes anxiety. For me, saying no takes a lot of work. I think it causes more anxiety to say no than it does to do most anything anxiety provoking. My therapist wants me to work on this. He actually wants me to say no more often; to stand up for my own desires and opinions.
So I did it, I said no to something. There is a large family get-together this weekend that I don’t want to go to for several reasons. There will be a lot of people there that I don’t know, it’s out of my normal comfort-zone, and my husband wouldn’t be able to come with me. Normally, I would say yes to the invitation and then have anxiety attacks all week leading up to the get-together and then at the event itself. Instead, I said no; I’m still having anxiety attacks, but they’re a lot less than they would have been if I said yes.
Are there other people who struggle in this way as well? What do they do to help them?
Its something I have had to learn myself. It’s not easy to do but we need to look out for ourselves more.
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I think it takes a lot of time and practice to learn how to do
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Oh it most certainly does because I still struggle with it
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I think it will always be a struggle
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I have the exact same issue. I let people walk all over me and they have all picked up on me and I’m pretty sure I’m being taken for granted. The only time people look for me is if they need something. I need to learn to stand up for myself as well.
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I’m learning that it’s all about compromise, if only it was that easy
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saying no is never easy. so happy you are putting your needs first. its very important, self care is vital. i have trouble saying no too if its any consolation. xx
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I’m trying to put my needs first, it’s really hard, but I keep trying
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