Today was a very tough day. When I woke up this morning, I came out to the living room to see my dog struggling to breathe. Last night, we invited him to come sleep in the bedroom with us; however, at some point during the night, he decided to come out to the living room and lay down on the tile. My husband and I noticed around 7:30am, that he wasn’t eating or drinking, he couldn’t stand or walk, and his breathing was extremely labored. We could tell that he was in pain. I think he was trying to tell us that it was time for him to go, he was ready.

We had to carry him to the car, which was very difficult (he’s 88 pounds). They had a couple guys come out to help bring him inside. They told us to let them know when we were ready. We decided that we were ready right then. Cash was in so much pain, we didn’t want him to stay in that much pain. We didn’t want to be selfish, it wasn’t about us, this was about him.

Watching him go was extremely difficult. Cash’s eyes didn’t close, it was hard to watch. I cried, which I did many times today. We will pick up his ashes when they are ready. We decided to take Cash on one last hike (it was my husband’s idea). Cash loved to go hiking. He would wear his backpack and carry everything he/we needed.

We stayed busy today. We didn’t want to go home after he died. It’s going to be weird without him here. We eventually came home, and it’s so quiet here. It doesn’t seem right, but we will have to get used to it, at least for now.

I'm a 32 year old married woman who has been dealing with Bipolar disorder since the age of 14. This is all about my life, diagnoses, and treatments. If you have any questions, just ask me. I hope that others with Bipolar Disorder or PTSD can relate to my blog and find it helpful.

10 thoughts on “Today Was Cash’s Last Day”

  5. i feel great sadness for you. i can see the sadness in your writing whenever you wrote about cash recently. you had a great love for cash.

    i have lost two dogs, one natural and one put down. then, as you know, we almost lost jimmy a few weeks back. that was really hard. no matter what, if you care for the dog, it’s never easy.

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  6. I’m so sorry. I remember how different (quiet) it was when my first dog Shaggy left us. It seemed as though he took much of the home’s happiness with him. But it gets better.

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  9. There are no words to say obviously that makes the loss of a pet any less difficult but just want you to know I am sorry for the loss of your friend. They’re only here with us for awhile but their impact can last a lifetime.

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