Over time, I have learned the true importance of honesty. Before I got sober, I was almost never honest. When I was using drugs, I was constantly lying about everything. Then, I would try to cover up one lie with another. It made life extremely complicated. Sometimes, I would lie by omission. I would purposely not tell someone something because I didn’t want anyone to know the truth. I’ve learned that being honest makes life a lot easier. I no longer have to spend time trying to figure out which lie I told to which person because I tell every person the same thing, the truth. Being honest has made my life easier. I can sleep better because I feel good about my honesty.
Honesty is a way to show people you respect them. Healthy relationships are based on honesty. It’s especially important to be honest with your significant other. My husband and I are honest with each other, which shows our trust in each other. There are times that being honest will make you emotionally vulnerable, which is good in a healthy relationship. If I want people to be honest with me, then I need to be honest with them. It’s a two-way street.
The part of honesty I struggle with the most is being honest with others about how I’m doing. I don’t like to tell people how I’m really feeling. I guess I don’t want people to feel sorry for me or think I’m pathetic because I spend so much of my life depressed. When I pretend to be okay, I’m technically lying. This is an issue that I definitely need to work on. I’m not perfect; in fact, I’m far from it. However, I think I will be okay as long as I’m always working towards being 100% honest.
My Side of the Pole 
Excellent post. Like you and your husband, I am honest with my wife, even though honesty might hurt sometimes, but it’s better than saying a lie. I still struggle with depression sometimes and it’s hard when my wife asks me about it, so I try to shrug it off sometimes, but she knows when something is going on. I’m just like you, I’m still working on that one.
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I generally feel that if my husband knew what was really going on in my mind, then he would freak out. I’ve tried explaining before that just because I’m thinking about something, such as suicidal ideations, it doesn’t mean I want to do anything about it. In fact, I tell my doctors about it because I don’t want to act on those thoughts. But when he knows those things, I think he becomes afraid and doesn’t know what to do.
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