Category: Hallucinations

Barking Dog

Barking Dog

I’m home alone, while my husband is at work, and my dog, Cash, keeps barking. Every time he barks it freaks me out, especially since he’s normally so quiet. Each time he barks I get up and show him that no one is outside, the front door and the back. He calms down for a little bit, but he keeps barking about 5 minutes later. The same thing happens over and over with no one and nothing there.

I deal with auditory hallucinations regularly. When I’m at home and I hear things, I look Cash for security. If there was actually something there, he would recognize the sound and and bark at it. There’s almost never anything, so I calm down and go back to whatever I was doing. However, this evening, since Cash is barking at almost everything, I’m very anxious. I can’t wait for my husband to get home from work. I’ll feel a lot better then.

Psychosis

Psychosis

Psychosis is the mental state where a person’s thoughts and/or emotions are so impaired that they lose track with reality. The first time I was told that I was in a state of psychosis, I was offended. This was over 15 years ago. I just didn’t understand at that time what a psychotic state really meant. I have been in a state of psychosis for a while now. It’s all because of my hallucinations. I have auditory hallucinations fairly frequently. I hear things that aren’t really there. Usually, the things I hear are doors opening and closing, a person’s footsteps, knocking, whispering, or gunshots.

I know that most of the things I hear really aren’t there. If the dog doesn’t react to what I think I hear, then I can be pretty sure it’s not real. If it was real, the dog would bark in response. Hallucinations are a lot to handle. The sad thing is that after dealing with them for a while, you get used to it in a way. I still freak out every time I think I hear something, but I calm down much quicker.

My hallucinations are generally related to experiences from my past. Most of them are from the time period when I got my first apartment a couple of towns away from where I grew up. I lived there with an abusive boyfriend for over a year. This is when I was using a lot of drugs. I got myself into a lot of problems, and now I continue to pay for it. With all of the memory loss that I’ve had, I don’t know why I can’t forget these memories.