I’ve realized that I’m very good at pretending to be alright. I’m not trying to be strong. Most of the time, it’s just easier to pretend to be okay than it is to express how I’m really feeling. I think that’s because I don’t know how I’m actually feeling. I’m stuck between several different emotions and no emotions at the same time. I know that pretending I’m okay when I’m not cannot last forever.

At some point, my emotions will come rushing back to me. It seems that I either have every emotion or no emotions, there’s no balance for me. That’s how it goes with bipolar disorder. When that happens, I know that I have a lot of support from my family and friends.

7 thoughts on “Pretending

  1. I feel this way a lot of the time. The last year has been really hard for me. When I look back I can see the times that I was feeling like I was pretending or putting on a show. Not just for everyone else either, for myself too. My thoughts are with you. If you need to talk, you know where to find me. I’m a willing ear to listen.

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