I’m working hard at eating healthy. It’s not an easy thing, but I’m trying. My doctor was talking to me about getting healthy and losing weight. She kept talking to me as if I was stupid and didn’t know what I’m supposed to be eating. I explained to her that I know what I should eat, but knowing doesn’t really mean much. There’s a huge difference between knowing something and putting it into action.
With food, my worst time of day is at night, specifically in the middle of the night between 11pm and 5am. I don’t know why I eat things then. When I can’t sleep, it seems like I fill my bored, tired body with food. It’s completely unnecessary, but I do it anyways. I can eat healthy all day long and then I go and mess it up in the middle of the night for no reason. I’m going to keep working on it. I’ll try again tonight not to eat for no reason.
Food is another addiction of mine. I’m already sober from drugs and alcohol. I know I need to add food to that list, but it’s a really hard thing to do. I’m grateful to have all the love and support that I do have. My family is understanding and encouraging.
The other day I spoke about Dual Diagnosis. Just because I’m 12 years sober, doesn’t mean that I don’t struggle with addiction. I no longer crave drugs or alcohol, but I still have addictions. Generally, anything that I do, I do it to the extreme. That can include cooking, cleaning, and eating. Those things may sound weird, but I still over-do all of them. Also, when times are difficult, those are the things I turn to. I also quit smoking cigarettes a couple of years ago, which was extremely difficult.
When times are tough, everyone turns to something for relief. My problem is that whatever it is that I turn to, over-do. Does anyone want to share the addictions they struggle with? It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I feel that talking about my addictions helps me feel better.
Dual diagnosis is something that affects so many people. Dual diagnosis refers to a person that has a drug and/or alcohol addiction that also has a mood disorder, such as bipolar disorder, depression, and more. I am a recovering drug and alcohol addict. In 2004 I got help; I went to a year-long treatment center that treated both my addiction and my bipolar disorder, and it completely turned my life around. I am now 12 years sober and proud of it. I’m not sure if I’m still considered dual diagnosis since I’ve been sober. I know the addiction never goes away.
Mental health disorders often lead to individuals abusing drugs and/or alcohol. It’s considered self-medicating. Someone may use drugs and/or alcohol to help make themselves feel better, which it may for a very short period of time. However, the euphoria only lasts a short while before the horrible despair sets in. I did this to myself for years before getting help. The causes of my PTSD are from the times that I was actively in my addiction.