I Need To Lose Weight

I Need To Lose Weight

I’m back in Phoenix, but I’m not so sure I want to be here. I was enjoying my time with my family. There was still so many people to see and so much to do. There’s never enough time to do everything you want. However, I was ecstatic to see my dog when I got home. I missed him clearly.

I seriously have to lose some weight. I’ve never been this big before. The seats on the second flight were so skinny that I almost didn’t fit in them. That was extremely depressing. The seat was so tight that my leg was hurting because the armrest was cutting off circulation to my leg. I think it’s time to do something about my weight. My weight has been up and down my whole life. I guess it’s time to lose some weight again. I’m sure it would make me feel better both physically and mentally. I hope I can lose weight, some of the meds I’m on cause weight gain. I won’t know unless I try.

Home From A Trip

Home From A Trip

Returning from a trip is exhausting. There is so much to catch up on, but I still have to unpack. We got home late last night; my husband went to go lay in bed after helping to empty the car. I decided it would be a better idea to unpack right then, than waking up to all of that work. As I was unpacking, my husband realized that we forgot something, a very important something, in the hotel. He was very upset about it, and I understood. I think I will drive back there today to go get it, if they still have it. Every time someone gets upset, I automatically think it’s because of me; I always feel as if I’m responsible, even when I’m not. Just because we got home last night doesn’t mean I have to complete everything I missed while I was away in just one day. There’s nothing wrong with catching up on things over a two or three-day period.

We had a great trip; it was a lot of fun. We went for a hike and saw some really cool hieroglyphics, we went to a ghost town and did a lot of stuff there, we went and saw a couple of movies, and we went to a friend’s wedding. I think the trip was a success. It’s just getting back to your normal life that is the exhausting part. To make matters even more confusing, I’m leaving to go across the country to see my family in 5 days. I can’t wait to see everyone. I love going back home; however, it’s a lot to do in a short amount of time. It will all be worth it in the end. In order to make things easier for my next trip, I should probably start by making a list of everything I need to pack. I should also find my luggage and do the laundry. I should start doing anything that will make my final day or two before I leave a little less stressful.

I should probably take some time for myself today, easier said than done. I don’t really know what that means. Whenever someone asks me what I want to do, I always say, “Whatever you want” or “It doesn’t matter to me”. I do that because I don’t really know what I want to do. Today, I have 12 years sober. It’s hard to believe it’s been that long. I wish I could look back and remember various times in my life, but ECT has made that extremely difficult. I know that it was hell when I was first getting sober and various times throughout the years. Maybe it’s all for the best that I can only remember snippets of things. I still don’t know what I’m going to do for myself today, but it will be something, even if it’s as simple as taking the dog for a nice walk. I need to do something for myself that I enjoy, and not something that has to get done.