Depressed and Disabled

Depressed and Disabled

Yesterday ended up being a difficult day. The evening was the hard part. After my husband left for work, this deep heart-rending, wretched feeling set in. I started to feel ashamed of who I am; that is a feeling I haven’t felt in quite a while. I thought it was because of my weight, but that wasn’t it. I spent more time crying tonight than I have in months.

My mom called and we talked for a while. I started to tell her how I was feeling. As I was talking to her I figure out what the issue was. It was that my doctor completed my total and permanent disability paperwork. My therapist was also willing to do the paperwork if I needed it. Because of this paperwork, I realized that I had been on disability for 78 months. Wow, that is a long time. It’s something about being told I’m permanently disabled. I know it’s just a term, but it’s already been so long, and I’m not doing much better. I guess that’s why they diagnosed me as treatment resistant.

No matter what do or how hard I try, there’s always going to be a problem. I’ll go up and down; it will get better and worse, but the possibility of me becoming and staying stable is not likely. When my doctor filled out that paperwork for the total and permanent disability, he did so because he believes that to be true. He doesn’t believe that I will get back to fully functioning. I suppose I don’t believe I will get back to what I had before; a job and a social life. I don’t think everything is a failure; I’m just questioning it all.

The good thing is that I know this will pass. I will have an up-swing again, these feelings will go away, and I’ll deal with the problems of mania. At least my life stays interesting; it’s always something.

Total and Permanent Disability (TPD) Discharge

Total and Permanent Disability (TPD) Discharge

A couple of months ago, someone told me about Total and Permanent Disability (TPD) Discharge. This was being done my the Department of Education and the Federal Student Aid Office. Basically, if you fit the requirements, then you can apply to have your student loans forgiven. I’m ecstatic about this. I have $48,000 in student loans, and all I can do is pay off the interest, which keeps building. I think this TPD program is amazing.

Normally, I don’t qualify for any programs that would help me out, but this time I do. The requirement that I fit is that I’m on Social Security Disability and I have been on it for at least 60 months. In fact, I have been on disability for 78 months, since December 2009. Wow, it’s been a while, I’m feeling fairly pitiful right now. Anyway, my psychiatrist filled out the physician’s certificate and I filled out the rest of the paperwork. I’ve been trying to get this done for two months now and I finally got myself to finish it. Hopefully, they accept my application. I’m considered totally and permanently disabled; maybe that can work in my favor.

Check out this program, maybe it can help some other people as well: TPD Discharge

 

 

Nelnet, Inc. Total and Permanent Disability (TPD) Discharge. Federal Student Aid. U.S. Department of Education, 2016. Web. 14 June 2016. <https://www.disabilitydischarge.com/&gt;.