It is vital, but not easy, in life to think before reacting. People tend to react to situations automatically, at least I know that I do. I usually react by being overly polite, I almost always say yes to whatever anyone asks me, and I let people walk all over me. I have a very hard time standing up for myself. Some others have the opposite problem. Both situations are difficult to handle. This is why people could benefit from thinking before reacting. I’ve been trying to do this in my daily life, but I struggle to do it on my own. Some of the techniques I use are:
- Take a moment to respond. Don’t force yourself to react immediately.
- Think about what you would tell someone else to do/say if they were in your position.
- Practice your response with another person if possible, or just practice with yourself.
I usually respond immediately, telling people I will do what they want and I insist that it’s no problem, even though it is an issue. I almost always put other people before myself. It’s important to stand up for yourself; I guess that’s something I’ll have to continue to work on.
When you stand up for yourself, you don’t necessarily have to explain your response to anyone. Your answer to someone’s question is enough. If you can’t do something for another person, then that should be enough. We are not children, we don’t need to justify everything we say. Speak up and clearly when you are standing up for yourself, and remember it’s okay to say “no”. Being assertive is a good thing; it’s not being mean or rude. Practice standing up for yourself. I ask my husband and my mom for help all the time. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help. I think it actually makes you stronger.