Month: August 2016

Vacation is Coming… Soon

Vacation is Coming… Soon

As I prepare to go on vacation, I feel excitement begin to flow through my body. Very soon, I will be sitting on the beach and actually relaxing. I’ve made checklists of everything that has to get done before I leave. I have already counted all my meds and refilled the ones that would have run out while I’m away. I’ve started trying on some clothes to figure out what I want to pack. I was worried that trying on clothes would be difficult because of my weight gain, but more clothes fit me than I thought would. What a nice surprise!

I have to make sure everything gets done over the next couple of days. It’s a lot to do, but it will be a stressful vacation if I don’t get everything done that needs to be done while I’m away. I’m looking forward to relaxing. Part of me wonders if I even know how to relax anymore. Soon, when my view is the picture above, I’m sure I’ll figure out how to let go a little and relax.

Getting Ready To Prepare For Vacation

Getting Ready To Prepare For Vacation

The past few days have been very difficult. Last week, I felt like I was passing time and going through the motions. Now, I seem to be fighting to get through each moment. I think it’s because I know I’m about to go on vacation. I know that I struggle when my schedule changes. However, my schedule hasn’t even changed yet. I’m just caught up trying to prepare for vacation. There’s too much to get done. I feel overwhelmed, like I’m drowning. But I do know that it will all work out; I just need to hang on and stay organized.

I have so much to do before I leave for vacation. It starts with making a packing list, and then a to-do list of all the errands and tasks I need to get done. I love to-do lists. If it’s not written down, then it’s not going to get done. I will probably start all of that tomorrow. The biggest task is figuring out all my medications for the trip. I’ll be gone for 10 days, and it would not be good if I run out of meds.

Passing Time

Passing Time

Lately, it feels as though I am just passing time. I’m just trying to get through life; for the time being, it has been more difficult than usual, and that’s saying something. Sometimes I feel like I’m watching a clock tick over and over and not get anywhere. I want the days to go by quicker, but I don’t think there’s anything I can do to help.

I’ve bottled up my emotions for such a long time. I’m finally beginning to express how I feel, but it doesn’t seem to make anything easier. In fact, time seems to be going by slower. I wish I could fast forward through parts of life.It feels as if all I do I go to doctor appointments and take my medication. There has to be more to life than that. This gets so lonely.

Last Night’s Dream

Last Night’s Dream

I’ve been having nightmares lately. They’re so vivid that when I wake up, it takes me a while to figure out what is and is not real. Last night, it was sort of in between a nightmare and a dream. It wasn’t bad, just a little sad and very different from normal. I was dreaming about owning a horse and having to work at the barn to pay for the boarding. Then suddenly, I broke a leg and couldn’t do anything. I lost my horse, but even worse, all of my friends from that part of my life stopped talking to me. I was alone. The next thing I know, I woke up and was sad. It took about a minute to realize that my dream was not real. Normally my nightmares have me waking up crying and/or terrified. This was far from that, but it was memorable.