I’m still upset today about my doctor appointment yesterday. I’m feeling frustrated, shameful, disappointed (in myself), and pathetic. I think that the reason it bothers me so much is because it’s true. I know I’ve gained weight and I’m really struggling to lose it. The weight gain started when I went on Clozapine. I keep thinking about going off of it, but I have a feeling that my psychiatrist won’t like that choice. I don’t think I like that choice. I’m upset with my doctor because of how she talked to me, not what she talked to me about. And now I’m beating myself up about all of it. I wish I could just lose the weight, much easier said than done.

7 thoughts on “A Bad Day

  1. I know how you feel. But please don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s not worth it. If the medicine works for you and helps, you shouldn’t go off it. You may want to talk to your doctor about the way that you were spoken to. I know that’s also easier said than done.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It sucks how your doctor handled the weight issue. With everything you deal with, you don’t need the lack of compassion or understanding from a medical professional as well. A better way to handle it would have been for her to say she see’s in the chart that you have gained since she saw you last and ask you what has been going on that may have led to the weight gain. But no one is perfect – not even doctors. Don’t let her mistake or lack of perfection, become the reason you change everything you have chosen to do.
    If yesterday had not happened, would you even be considering stopping the clozapine? Ask yourself why you would give one person that you barely know so much power over you? Perhaps you have an underlying desire to go off it? If so, why? no judgement, just thoughts.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve been thinking about stopping the Clozapine for a while now. I don’t want to be on it, but I do know it’s helping. I have to choose between mental health and physical health (my weight). I’ve been feeling bad about myself for a while due to this issue. I’m overweight and I feel pathetic. I just need to figure out what to do. For now, I’m not changing the meds.

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  3. Remember your not responsible for her attitude., just like Brandon is not responsible for your moods. Some people shouldn’t be in the jobs that they have, because they lack true compassion!

    Liked by 1 person

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