I’m in the midst of another depression. Each day I just try to figure out how to make it through. I make a to-do list and try to get everything done on that list. Staying busy helps the days go by quicker, but actually doing anything is more than difficult. I can’t even find the right words to describe how hard it is to really do things. Yesterday was a decent day according to how active I was. I cleaned the whole house and did the laundry. It didn’t make me feel any better, but it did make the day go by faster.

However, today is not going as well. I’m having a hard time getting myself moving. I just don’t care that much about anything. But I am trying to put on a face; I don’t like showing the people around me how depressed I really am. So I put on a fake smile and talk like there is nothing wrong.

12 thoughts on “Handling My Depression

  1. man it sucks when that happens, finding it hard to get going. then on top of that, you’re being hard on yourself.

    harken back to a day where you free or mostly free of depression. What’s it feel like? The next day you came down with the flu barely able to raise your arm to blow your nose. i hope the expectations on day 2 were less than day 1. the flu made it so you couldn’t accomplish as much.

    now pop forward to today, in the middle of a nasty depression. some days worse than others.

    my wish for you: that you can treat the depressed person with the same grace as you with a flu; or even more since depression is worse than the flu. and what about the depress and in the eyes of society? then need even more grace. know the depression binds you not any inability or lack of drive on your part. treat yourself with grace. depression doesn’t think you deserve it, but grace is what you deserve.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. This is one of the most difficult things to do, outside of making myself go to work so I don’t lose my job. But, yes, absolutely, getting out into the sun and going for a walk is a huge help.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. It sucks. I am sorry you are going through this. I hope that knowing you are part of a community that cares helps a small bit at least on the intellectual side, although I know you cannot control how you feel. My wish for you is that the ECT starts soon and everything you hope it to be.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Congratulations on accomplishing a post! You should pat yourself on the back just for that – look at all the understanding individuals there are out there who get what you are going through (me too) but what you may not see is the hope others are getting from all of our banter. Your doing a great job!😊

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This post is a few weeks old, so maybe, hopefully, you are feeling better. My depression is off and on, mixed up mostly with the other end. Normal, a tad here and there. I wrote something about bipolar depression this afternoon. The can’t-get-out-of-bed part lasted a few months for me, and now I’m sinking into a deeper and darker place. Though, right now at this moment, I feel okay. SUCKS overall.

    I wish you all the best. You aren’t alone.

    Liked by 1 person

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