Yesterday went well. I got everything done that I wanted to and I was able to visit with my friend. It really helps to be able to talk to someone who completely understands what I deal with on a daily basis. I slept fairly well again last night. I only one up once in the middle of the night and I was able to fall back asleep in about 30 minutes.
I’m preparing for my appointment with my psychiatrist that I have on Wednesday. I’ve written down all my questions for him. During my appointment I plan to stay calm and listen to what he has to say. I know he has my best interests in mind. I have a feeling I will be going back on ECT. I’m not excited about that, but I am open to it if he thinks that it will help me. Treatments and medications usually work for me for the first year or so, but then they stop working. It’s a pattern I’ve seen in lots of the treatments/meds that I try. That’s another thing that I plan on asking my doctor about.
It’s New Year’s Eve and I’m lucky enough to spend my night with my husband and granddaughter. It’s the first time we babysit for her. I’ve just finished baby proofing the house, I cleaned everything yesterday, the high chair and the play pen are set up. I’m ready for her to come, although she won’t be here for another 7 hours.
While I wait for her to arrive, I can do some more cleaning, do laundry, and try to exhaust the dog by taking him on a really long walk (if it’s not raining). My dog gets a little excited when Lacey comes over and I don’t want him to push her around, so hopefully I have the chance to make him tired.
I had so much to do today before the SuperShuttle picks up me and my husband at 9:30pm. I had a doctor’s appointment, prescriptions to fill at two different pharmacies, several errands to run, and I still had to finish packing. Luckily, my husband offered to help out and take care of the car insurance renewal. Vacation is just around the corner! I’m so excited!
I slept about 7 hours last night and I’m very happy about that. I won’t get much sleep tonight on a red eye flight. I’m hoping to be able to take a nap before we leave. Hopefully, the airport won’t be too busy when we get there. I figured that I’ll need one Valium while traveling, but I don’t want to take any more that that. I don’t like having to take it on a regular basis. However, since life has been so busy lately, I have had to take more than I normally do.
My anxiety keeps increasing. The more I get done and get closer I get to completing all the packing, the more my anxiety rises. That’s weird. I think it should be the other way around; I should feel more relaxed with the more complete. It’s probably more excitement than anxiety; I can’t wait to be with my family.
I did everything I could to avoid shopping yesterday. I made sure that I didn’t even leave the house. I can’t imagine dealing with the chaos that goes along with Black Friday, it would probably give me a heart attack. Anyway, I’m starting to get organized for my trip back to Connecticut. I wrote out my packing list. On Monday, I’ll start my packing. Over the weekend, I will be running errands, doing laundry, cleaning, and cooking.
My brother-in-law is staying at our house while we are away to take care of the dog and the house. That makes it so much easier (and cheaper) than boarding the dog. I am going to cook a few things so that he has food to eat while we are away. He’s doing us a big favor, so I want to make his stay at our house as comfortable as possible.
The past few days have been very difficult. Last week, I felt like I was passing time and going through the motions. Now, I seem to be fighting to get through each moment. I think it’s because I know I’m about to go on vacation. I know that I struggle when my schedule changes. However, my schedule hasn’t even changed yet. I’m just caught up trying to prepare for vacation. There’s too much to get done. I feel overwhelmed, like I’m drowning. But I do know that it will all work out; I just need to hang on and stay organized.
I have so much to do before I leave for vacation. It starts with making a packing list, and then a to-do list of all the errands and tasks I need to get done. I love to-do lists. If it’s not written down, then it’s not going to get done. I will probably start all of that tomorrow. The biggest task is figuring out all my medications for the trip. I’ll be gone for 10 days, and it would not be good if I run out of meds.