Preparing For My Trip Back Home

Preparing For My Trip Back Home

I did everything I could to avoid shopping yesterday. I made sure that I didn’t even leave the house. I can’t imagine dealing with the chaos that goes along with Black Friday, it would probably give me a heart attack. Anyway, I’m starting to get organized for my trip back to Connecticut. I wrote out my packing list. On Monday, I’ll start my packing. Over the weekend, I will be running errands, doing laundry, cleaning, and cooking.

My brother-in-law is staying at our house while we are away to take care of the dog and the house. That makes it so much easier (and cheaper) than boarding the dog. I am going to cook a few things so that he has food to eat while we are away. He’s doing us a big favor, so I want to make his stay at our house as comfortable as possible.

Finding Warmer Clothes

Finding Warmer Clothes

It feels as if all I do is eat, sleep, blog, and go to doctor appointments. At least I have a vacation coming up. So the next couple weeks, I’ll add in packing to my list of crap that has to get done. Of course, since I’m going back east and I’ve gained some weight, making me more self-conscious than normal, I probably need to find some new, warmer clothes.

I went through my closet today to find some winter clothes, and it didn’t go as bad as I thought. I found five sweaters and one long-sleeved shirt that fit, which is more than I thought I would find. Over the next two weeks, I’m going to go shopping to find some more long-sleeved shirts. I generally don’t like to go shopping because I hate trying things on that are too small, but I go when I have to. To possibly avoid clothes being too small, I pick things out that are a size bigger than I think I am; that usually works out well for me.

Holiday Shopping

Holiday Shopping

It’s getting to be that time of the year, where there’s all sorts of family gatherings, cooking, and shopping. Personally, I love gift-giving, but I don’t wait until November or December to start shopping. My holiday shopping begins in January. I start by simply paying attention to what people say and then I keep a gift idea list. I also buy one or two gifts per month, that way I don’t go completely broke at the end of the year. This method also helps with birthday gifts.

I actually prefer to give gifts than receive them. By paying attention to people, I can get them creative gifts that they love and I get to see the people I care about smile and be happy. Seeing them happy is a gift to me. For this holiday season, I have only one gift left to buy, but I already know what it is that I’m going to get. I’m all done with my family and my husband’s family.

Anxiety While Shopping

Anxiety While Shopping

Running errands is a difficult task for me, and it always seems as if the errands are never ending. I’m comfortable in my own home for the most part, but when I leave my house, all of my fears start to take over. One of my biggest fears is having someone I don’t know come up behind me. My anxiety kicks in when I’m in public. I constantly look from side to side and front to back to make sure I’m aware of everything that’s going on around me.

There are certain stores that I hate going into on my own or at all. These stores have bright and fluorescent lighting, narrow aisles, and large display cases right at the entrance. These aspects cause anxiety and make me feel trapped and uncomfortable. I would prefer to go to a store that ends up costing me more money, than go to a store that brings out my anxiety. Even the regular store that I go to can sometimes cause anxiety; it all depends on how many people are there. It’s important for me to plan when I go shopping to avoid the crowds.

I also hate standing in line when it’s time to check out. There always seems to be someone behind me that doesn’t know what personal space means. This isn’t just at grocery stores; it happened to me the other day when I went to buy dog food. I despise going to the mall. I’ve actually only been once in the past year. I wasn’t alone, and despite that, I was still freaking out on the inside. These are some of the reasons why I try to buy as much as I can online.

There are so many things that I struggle to do, inside and outside of my home, which is why it’s important that I have a support system. My husband is great when it comes to helping me feel safe while we’re out. He will walk behind me so I know that he is the only person directly behind me. This especially helps while standing in lines. When I feel trapped in an aisle, I normally freeze, but he helps guide me through the store. He will put his arm around me, hold my hand, or hold onto my belt loop, making me feel more secure and ensuring that I don’t get lost. I can also go in on my own if absolutely necessary as long as I’ve taken Valium. I have progressed over time with the different activities that I’m capable of doing. Hopefully, over time, some of the regular errands I run will become easier for me to do.