Learning To Be Comfortable In My Own Skin

This is me, continuing to push myself. I am trying to get more comfortable in my own body, especially with my legs. I deserve to be comfortable in my own skin and I’m working on reaching that goal. Normally, I don’t even feel secure enough in my own body, even when I’m home alone, so I almost always wear pants. However, I’m trying to become a bit more comfortable with myself. Over the past few days, I have been wearing pajama shorts around the house and while on walks. I need to become more secure with myself.

I’m posting these pictures of my legs that I took yesterday. I need to become comfortable walking around the house and the neighborhood in shorts. I also need to become comfortable knowing that these pictures are out there. And like yesterday’s post, I know that people are not focusing on me and my legs. I’m not the center of attention (thankfully).

Pushing Myself Further: Wearing Shorts In Front Of New People

I wore pajama shorts again today. Actually, my husband forgot his wallet when he went to work, so I brought it back to him. I drove to his workplace in my pajama short, with our dog, Achilles. While I was on my way, my husband called and said that one of his co-workers (who is also a friend) wanted to meet Achilles. I was nervous because I was wearing pajama shorts, but I know I could do it. I could feel my heart beat increasing, my skin was dripping with sweat, and my hands/arms/legs were beginning to shake with small tremors.

Wearing shorts in front of another person was making me nervous, but I knew I could do it. I had to do it. The only way out of it would be to turn around, drive home, change, and drive back to my husband’s workplace. I decided to stick it out, and to be honest, I don’t think my husband’s friend even noticed. He was completely focused on Achilles, not on me, which was wonderful.

I pushed myself beyond my point of comfort, and it worked out wonderfully. I can keep moving forward a little bit each day or week, and maybe I’ll be comfortably wearing shorts as regular clothing in a few months.

I’m thinking about posting an actual picture of my legs. Nothing inappropriate, just a picture of my legs, (the ones I struggle with and hide all the time). I think that it will help me get over some of my issues. What do you all think? Should I post a real picture of my legs?

I’m Actually Wearing Shorts

I don’t wear short. Even in the horrible heat of the Arizona summer, when it’s 115 degrees out or more, I continue to wear blue jeans. And when I’m in my pajamas hanging out at home, either by myself or with my husband, I still wear pajama pants. I’ve never been comfortable wearing shorts, whether it’s in public or private. I don’t like my legs; they have always been bigger than others my own age. I don’t like to wear bathing suits, go swimming, or do anything else that would show my legs. I’m extremely self-conscious.

However, over the past couple of days, I have worn pajama shorts around the house by myself and when my husband was present. I even wore the pajama shorts out on a walk late at night, which was a huge step for me. I’m hoping that I can continue to move forward with this issue. I’m already wearing Capri pants. Maybe next year I’ll even allow myself to wear shorts during the summer.

Achilles Did Great Last Night

Achilles did really well last night. My husband and I were a little worried that he was going to freak out during the fireworks last night. However, we didn’t hear any fireworks last night. While we were home and when we took a walk (around 10:30pm), we heard a few loud noises, but Achilles didn’t bark once. He still almost never barks. He’s only done so about 5 times since we got him, which was just over 5 weeks ago.

He’s a really good dog, but he can get himself in trouble. Earlier today, he was running around the house playing catch (with his Kong ball) and he ran into the wall. It didn’t phase him at all, but he did take some of the paint and even some drywall off the corner. My brother-in-law will help us fix this. Now, Achilles is resting peacefully.

Happy Independence Day!

I went to lunch this afternoon with my husband, his mom, his aunt and uncle, and his brother. We went to The Cheesecake Factory to celebrate my brother-in-law’s birthday. I’m extremely proud of myself for eating healthy. I ordered a lunch sized Cobb salad and I ate until I was full, not completely stuffed. Also, I did not order a piece of cheesecake and I didn’t have a bite of anyone else cheesecake, no matter how many times it was offered to me.

Today has been a good day. I’ve been productive, healthy, and even in a fairly decent mood. Normally, on Independence Day, I worry about my dog and how he will handle all of the noise. For some reason, I’m not that concerned about Achilles; I know how to handle him if he does get scared. Our new neighborhood has a lot to do with how I’m feeling. It’s a secure neighborhood; it’s a place where I feel safe (very different from our last community. I’m hoping that the rest of the day continues to go well.

I will let you all know tomorrow how Achilles handled the fireworks. I hope all of your pets stay safe tonight while we all celebrate the Fourth of July. Happy Independence Day!

Preparing for the Fourth of July

I’m trying to prepare myself with the Fourth of July coming up. I’m not a big fan of large groups of people, so I usually stay home to celebrate. I’m not sure how Achilles would handle the fireworks. This will be our first experience with him during fireworks. I don’t think he will bark because he almost never does, but I’m not sure if he will be scared or anxious.

We just moved into a new house, and it is in a great neighborhood. Throughout the previous years, we had to deal with all sorts of people setting off their own fireworks as well as listening to gunshots. I would jump all the time because the noises made me so nervous. Luckily, we live in a much better neighborhood. We won’t hear gunshots in this new neighborhood, which is such a relief. There’s still some anxiety, but celebrating the holiday will be much easier this year.

My Side of the Pole

Bipolar – Mental Health

Month: July 2017