Vacation is over. I’m on my way home today. I was worried about checking my bag. It seemed to be extremely heavy. I thought that it was going to be over the 50lb limit. I had no scale to measure it with. Luckily, when I weighed it at the airport, it only weighed 47lbs. Then, I surprisingly went straight through security in the airport without getting stopped by anyone.
I’m early for my flight. I would rather be early than late. I sit down near my gate but far enough away so I’m basically alone. I’m about to be on a 6 hour flight with people all around me. I’ve decided to have as much alone time as possible. I found a group of chairs up against a wall that are off on their own with no one in them. Granted, they are about 30 feet away from the restrooms, but at least no one is coming to sit near me and start a conversation.
I had a great vacation, and I don’t want to leave, however; at the same time, I’m really looking forward to going home. The thing that I really like about this vacation, and pretty much any vacation, is the time I get to spend with my mom. Since she lives so far way from me (about 2,500 miles), I only get to see her about 2 or 3 times a year. Leaving her is hard, but going back home to my husband is good.
Not the airport again. I really hate airports, but I love planes. It’s just the people who I hate. People you don’t even know invade your personal space. I’m always afraid that I’m going to have to get a pat down when going through security. I panic when strangers touch me, sometimes even when people I know touch me. So the thought of a pat down is terrifying. In all of the times I’ve flown, it’s only happened to me twice. Most likely, everything will go smoothly (despite people invading my personal space) and I will have worried for nothing. I can’t help it.
I hate it when people tell me, just relax or calm down. The worst is when people say, there’s no reason to be nervous. Maybe there’s no reason to be nervous for them, but for me, it’s horrifying. I wish there was a better way to travel long distances. I have driven cross-country twice, but it is a 37 hour drive one way. I’m not really up for that. It’s like when people tell you how great you look or how great you’re doing when you’re going through a major depression. I know people are just trying to be polite, but it’s not helping. It generally feels more like someone telling me how I should feel instead of accepting how I actually feel. I don’t know if that was confusing or not. I tried to explain it all including how I feel. Does anyone else have this same issue? Does anyone else feel insulted or discredited when people try to tell you how great you look? All I want is to be accepted as I am. I hope that’s not too much to ask.