I have been nervous for days now about the blood work I had to get done today. Most of my nerves were because of the inappropriate phlebotomist from last week that kept asking me personal questions and telling me what I should do for my bipolar disorder. I have been practicing all week just what to say to her if she was the one drawing my blood again. I was prepared; at least I kept telling myself I was prepared. I was ready to tell her, “I don’t want to talk” if she asked me a question, or to ask for someone else completely. To be honest, I wasn’t prepared. I took a Valium to calm myself out of my anxiety attack and I went to the lab.
I arrived at the lab and stood in line to check in. I made a 2pm appointment, but they were running late. At least my Valium was kicking in, I was able to breathe, my chest pains stopped, I started shaking less, and my mind began to slow. I looked behind the counter and only saw one receptionist and one phlebotomist. Then my heart started to beat a little faster again, it was the same woman from last time. As I walk past her, she asks me “Did you think about what we talked about last time?” I can’t believe that she was that invasive two weeks in a row, better yet, she broke HIPPA laws two weeks in a row. I was surprised, but my response comment came to me quickly. I told her, “Yes, and I’m happy with the way I’m doing things.” I couldn’t believe it, but she actually backed off. The only other things she said was just normal chit-chat, to make time go by quicker. What I said was nothing like what I planned on saying, but it still seemed to work, and that’s all that really matters.
If she says something to me again next week, I will report her. It’s really hard for me to report her or tell her boss about the situation; I’m not sure why it’s so difficult, it just is. My husband keeps telling me I should report her. He’s probably right; I should probably do it for the people she treats after me. Even just the thought of reporting her, or having my husband report her, makes me start to have a panic attack. I don’t know if I could do it; I don’t know if I want to do it.
An update regarding the Clozapine: My fatigue has been decreasing every day and I have no other side effects that I’m noticing. I informed my psychiatrist these facts and that I completed my weekly blood work today. He told me I could up my Clozapine dose to 125 mg. I was so excited when I heard, I was worried he was going to stop the medication because of my blood work results, but he is still allowing me to move forward on my dosages.