I have another ECT treatment today. I do them every 4 weeks; I can’t believe it’s already been that long. I hate going and doing this. It is helpful, but I guess I’m just tired of it. Maybe I would feel okay about it if doing ECTs made me able to reduce the amount of medicine I took, but it doesn’t. The people there are very nice and know me well since I’ve been doing this for more than a year. The procedure doesn’t take long, but I do feel somewhat crappy the rest of the day; mostly headaches, body aches, and memory loss.
I’m too scared to stop. What happens if I stop and it turns out that it was the one thing that was holding me together, in a way. I don’t want to go, but I always go because I’m afraid not to go and because it’s the right thing to do at this point for my treatment. Sometimes, I wish I wasn’t so compliant. Time for me to go now.
My Side of the Pole 
WOW! I just looked up the meaning of ECT and I have to say, that you are very brave to go through with it. But if it works for you, stay with it. Only you know what’s good for you and what works.
Most of the time, I feel like canceling the appointments with my shrink, but then I think about how I feel after talking to him and that makes me reconsider.
Good luck my friend. :o)
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Thank you for your support. I’ve been doing it for over a year now. It’s exhausting, but I do it because it’s probably the right thing to do. I trust my psychiatrist and my mom who both believe it’s worth doing. I know I’ll stop at some point, I just don’t know when. Until then, I’ll probably just complain about it.
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