Today and yesterday have been extremely difficult. Yesterday, I went with my mother-in-law to her doctor’s to get the biopsy results. She finally got a definitive diagnosis yesterday. It’s stage 4 pancreatic cancer. Now, she has to choose what type of chemo she will be doing. I’m extremely impressed by her acceptance as she goes through this.
Naturally, my husband is having a hard time with this. I wish I could do something to make it better, but I can’t. I know if there is anything I can do to help my husband, that he will tell me. That’s one of the great things about him. I know he will always be honest and upfront with me.
I’ve been through something similar. When I was young, my dad was diagnosed with cancer. He died when I was 18. I know how horrible it is to lose a parent, but I couldn’t imagine losing my mom. I’m trying to be supportive to my mother-in-law and my husband, but it’s harder than I expected. Everything that she goes through brings up memories if my father.
I wish I could leave; just get up and walk away from it all. However, even if I could, I wouldn’t. I want to, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to. I don’t want to deal with all of this, but I will. Instead of walking away, I’m going to be as supportive as possible. When I need to, I can vent by writing for my blog or by calling my mom (she’s very helpful).