Yesterday I worked out again, which makes that two days in a row. I probably won’t be able to workout again today because my brother-in-law is coming over. My goal is to work out anywhere from 3 to 5 days a week. I think that’s possible. I don’t want to set the bar too high in the beginning and feel as if it’s unattainable, so I’m starting out easy. I’m trying to live in the moment, which is a lot easier for me to do. Normally, I plan way ahead and then I can’t reach the unrealistic goal I set.
My brother-in-law comes over so my husband and him can play games on the PlayStation, which is great because it’s important for my husband and his brother to spend time together. The only thing I don’t like about that, is that they get very loud and yell back at the game. I know that pretty much anyone who plays the games they play also yell. The yelling just bothers me, so I go in the bedroom and turn the TV up loud. It’s a simple solution.
Today is going a bit better. I feel okay so far. I’ve been able to get some things done. Now, I’m about to get ready to go to the gym with my husband. I’m anxious, but at least I go. It’s better than not going. I’ve decided to go to Cape Cod, so I should probably try to lose a bit of weight. Now, I have a reason, a goal to lose weight for. Of course, I would want to look as good as possible in a bathing suit. It’s not for anyone else, it’s just for myself. I’ve learned over the years that the things we do are for ourselves, not for others. Doing the best we can is to please ourselves. I’m so proud of my niece, she’s 13 years old, she has learned that at such a young age when it took me so long to figure it out. She is a figure skater, and competes. She says that she competes against herself, not against the other people there. It’s such a great attitude and way to look at things.
There are many things on want to work on for myself besides my weight. I want to become more comfortable in public places. It would be nice if I could go to the gym on my own without my husband. Right now, it’s too anxiety provoking for me to go on my own. I still have anxiety when I’m there with my husband, but it has been getting better each time. Maybe, one day I could go on my own. Maybe I could go with him but not need him to be with me every second. Those are my goals for myself for now.