My family (in-laws) likes to get together a lot, at least for every birthday and holiday. Honestly, I like that. Family is extremely important to me and they are always supportive. Only recently have I really started opening up about the depths of what’s going on with me, and I was pleasantly surprised as to how understanding and encouraging they were. They already knew about my diagnoses, but not the details about how I feel in the moment. Being more honest about my mental health state has made me feel more comfortable with them; I don’t feel like there’s anything I need to hold back anymore.
One thing I really struggle with is saying ‘No’, to anyone about anything. I don’t know why, but I would usually rather have an anxiety or panic attack than tell someone I can’t do something. I told my mother-in-law, who I am getting closer and closer with (and I love that), and she was extremely understanding. I even feel as if I could tell her ‘No’ and I wouldn’t freak out about it. It’s amazing what a little bit of honestly and openness will do.
Yesterday, I received an invitation from my husband’s aunt for a get-together that will happen tomorrow. I really want to go to this; I get along well with everyone. I’m going to call today and say I can go, but I’m a bit nervous because of the new medicine I started. I’m increasing my dose by 25mg every night; what happens if I can’t physically go at the last minute? I don’t like being the person that cancels last minute, but I can’t say how I will be feeling tomorrow evening because of this medication. It’s a different reason than I normally have for being nervous about get-togethers. Maybe I should just be completely honest and tell them everything I just wrote. Honesty is the best policy, even when it’s scary.
My husband’s family, which I consider to be my family instead of just my in-laws, is extremely important to me. Almost all of my side of the family lives in the North East, with a few people scattered around the US. However, I am the only one from my side of the family that lives in Arizona. All of my husband’s family lives near; I love that we have the ability to see them almost any time we want.
My Side of the Pole 