I’ve probably mentioned before that I’m an insomniac. However, the Clozapine I take at night helps me fall asleep with 20 minutes, I just don’t stay asleep. I wake up at least twice every night. It would be nice to sleep through the night, but I don’t know if that will ever happen. My mind is always running extremely fast. It goes from one thought, to the next, and so on. I never catch a break; I never get a moment of peace from my own brain. This happens when I’m manic, depressed, and even when I’m not experiencing an episode.

There are many aspects in life that affect my ability to sleep. These aspects include keeping a routine, medications, my anxiety level, and my honesty. Keeping a routine is important, but it’s something that I’m not very good at. I almost never go to bed at the same time every night. I pretty much go to sleep whenever I feel like it, so that isn’t very helpful. Several of my medications, including Lithium and Tegretol XR, can cause insomnia in patients. I’m sure this worsens my ability to sleep. My anxiety level is high quite often. Even when it’s not high, I deal with anxiety on a regular basis, especially when I’m outside of my home. For me, it’s important to remain honesty. I have a hard time living with myself if I’m not honest. I truly believe that honesty is the best policy; it’s important that when we interact with others, you should treat them the way you want to be treated.

There are many reasons why I could struggle with insomnia. I wonder if this is something I’ll have to deal with for the rest of my life. When I was a young child, I would fall asleep anywhere. Now, I have to force myself to fall asleep. And to make matters even worse, I tend to have nightmares when I finally do fall asleep. My husband says that he can tell when I’m having a bad dream because I talk very loudly in my sleep and I’m constantly tossing and turning. When I wake up, I don’t always remember my dream/nightmare, but I do remember feeling terrified. I wonder if there’s anything I can do to help get rid of these nightmares.

5 thoughts on “Insomnia…

  1. Google ‘parasomnia’ and see if any of the symptoms match what you are experiencing. I used to suffer from night terrors that was caused by my Lamictal. The symptoms settled down after about a year. I have middle of the night insomnia caused by Abilify and that has lasted 6 months so far. It’s killing me! I already have a sleep disorder, though, so it is making me a lot worse. I understand how much you are suffering!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I have the same problem with my sleep, that’s why my shrink gave me Ambien, but I hate taking it. I too wake up in the middle of the night a few times and it’s not good, because I don’t feel refreshed in the morning. Just today, I was falling asleep in the train on my way to work. I hope that your sleep pattern gets better with time. :o)

    Liked by 1 person

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