Halloween is here, whether I like it or not. Halloween is a holiday that has bothered me for a long time. I don’t like people I don’t know knocking on my door. I also don’t like walking around town with strangers, especially when people are dressed up in costumes so I don’t know who is who.
My husband is going trick or treating with our 2-year-old granddaughter, who is dressing up in a my little pony costume. They will be going as a group including my husband, mother-in-law, step-daughter, her boyfriend, and their kid (our granddaughter). Instead of committing myself to something I’m unsure about, I told them that I don’t know if I will be going or not. They think it’s because of my allergies and not feeling well, but it’s really because of my anxiety and PTSD.
I definitely will miss seeing our granddaughter experience Halloween, but I decided that it’s not a good idea to put myself through the anxiety. Instead, I will most likely stay home with my dog. My neighborhood (HOA) does not hand out candy, so there shouldn’t be anyone knocking on my door. I hope that everything goes okay.
My Side of the Pole 
Halloween is a very tough holiday for a lot of people, myself included. I will not be handing out candy for that very same reason because I do not like people knocking on my door.
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I am sure you are thankful that you have this blog to express/share what you’re feeling. That’s pretty much why I started mine. What you said triggered a memory for me. I don’t know foe sure, but I am thinking that my mom experienced something similar – only back then we didn’t know. She often backed out of big events where there were going to be a lot of people – like my wedding. She made up this excuse that she hurt her back about a week before, but I knew better. At the time I thought she didn’t approve of who I was marrying, but now it all makes sense. Thank you so much for sharing.
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You are not alone in this.
As for missing your grandaughter’s trick-or-treating, we live in a technology age… maybe be inventive and try facetime trick or treat? It isn’t the same as being there, but it might meet your need to see her in costume and feel part of the holiday and give her the opportunity to see you. She can “ring you” on the phone you can talk to her and see her and “magically” reach out and put something in her bucket (with help from the people in the room). At her age (I think you have said she is very young), and even at ours, there is a lot to be said for believing! I hope it is a peaceful night for you.
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Don’t feel alone. Your not the only one that feels this way. In a sense, it’s kinda bad that Halloween has become like this. Years ago when I was much younger there was always a sense of good times going to the different neighbors around my area. Trick or Treating was something that we looked forward too. People around the neightbor hood always greeted us kids with surprise trying to guess who we were. Drop some candy in our bags and off we went to the next.
Now, in this day and age, we must be careful on who knocks on the door. It’s not like it used to be and I’m sorry for that. Kids walking the street in scary costumes with little lights used to be a common thing. Not no more! We never even thought of getting poison candy or candy with a razor in it. That never existed.
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