Tag: ECT

Medication For Memory Loss

Medication For Memory Loss

I’ve only had two ECT treatments so far and my memory is already getting worse. I’m already forgetting where I put things, what movies I’ve seen, and other normal day-to-day things. Last night, I made a to-do list for all of the things I have to do today; however, I’m looking at my list and I don’t know what everything means. I wrote Cigna on my list, but I have no clue what I’m supposed to do with that. Neither me or my husband is insured by Cigna. I’m hoping that eventually it will come to me.

My psychiatrist started me on medication for Alzheimer’s. He prescribed two medications. One is Donepezil, which I will start tonight. The other prescription is not ready yet. I’m hoping that these new meds will help with my memory loss.

My First Time Back To ECT

My First Time Back To ECT

Today was my first time back to ECT. It really helped to have my husband there because I was pretty nervous. Everything went really well. I remember the doctor putting in my IV and then they put me to sleep. The next thing I know, they are bringing me out in a wheelchair. I don’t remember waking up in recovery at all. I’m in a little bit of pain, but not too horrible. It’s just my jaw that hurts, no headache or anything.

My next session is on Wednesday. It should have been on Friday, but the doctor is not there that day. So I had to move around a couple of other appointments to make everything work. I think the next time will be easier for me since I now know all of the doctors and nurses.

Anxious and Nervous

Anxious and Nervous

I leave for ECT in about one hour. Last night I kept having dreams that I ate or drank something after midnight, therefore, I couldn’t do the ECT treatment. I had the same type of dream 3 times last night. The first one I drank a soda, the second one I ate a chocolate sprinkled donut, and the last one I had a glass of milk. I know I’m nervous about this treatment; that’s probably why that was happening.

I can feel my heart beating in my chest. My fingers are shaking, which is making it difficult to type. I’m rocking back and forth, which is one of the ways I help keep myself calm. I did it without even realizing it. I can do this. I can do this.

Staying Busy

I’ve been doing my best to stay busy today. I’m trying to make the day go by as fast as possible. I even did a quick Zumba workout, which I’m very proud of. I need to workout on a regular schedule. When I got out of the shower, I noticed that the dog ripped out another one of his stitches. It was also on his back leg. I think that’s the only place he can reach. I cleaned it up and he’s all set now. Hopefully he won’t get to any more. The stitches come out on Thursday.

I’m nervous about ECT tomorrow, but I’m also ready for it. I will let you all know how it goes. I think it will work, I just don’t know how long it will take to start working. I can’t remember how long it took last time. I’m really excited about the possibility of not being depressed and thinking nonstop about suicide. I really need the relief.

Restarting ECT

Restarting ECT

I restart ECT again on Monday. It’s been over six months since my last treatment. I’ve been waiting for about a month to restart ECT, and now that it’s about to happen, I’m not sure if I’m ready. At least I’ve done it before, so it’s not as nerve-racking. My anxiety is so high right now. What do I do if ECT doesn’t work? I know there are other options, but there’s not many left. I’m just nervous and scared. It will work. I’m trying to stay positive.

Apparently, ECT is twice as effective when being used with Clozapine, and even more effective when being used with Clozapine and Lithium. I’m take both Clozapine and Lithium (and many other meds), so there’s a really good chance that this will work for me. I’m trying to stay positive. It’s not easy, but I’m working at it.

They also changed how some of it goes. They now allow one person to go back with you, stay with you until you go under, and then they can wait for you in recovery. That makes it a lot easier for me. My husband already said he will be doing that for me on Monday.

Feeling The Depression, Mentally and Physically

Feeling The Depression, Mentally and Physically

Today my depression is extremely bad. Moving at all, even just to get up and go to the bathroom, is more than difficult. My body hurts, my mind is sad, and I don’t believe that anything can help me, at least not today. I’m still waiting for ECT to call me to schedule my first session back with them. Waiting is so hard. ECT feels like my last hope, and it’s hard to have hope and wait at the same time. Hopefully, today will go by a little quicker than it has been.

I’ve been so busy for the past six days taking care of and worrying about my dog. Now that he’s improving, I no longer have to worry so much. He doesn’t require my full attention all of the time, and that allows the depression to get worse. My husband asked what I’m depressed about and I tried to explain that there’s no reason, it’s just a part of the bipolar disorder that I have. He didn’t quite explain, but he tries and I couldn’t ask for anything more than that.

Waiting For ECT

Waiting For ECT

I got my physical done over a week ago. Now, I’m just waiting for a call from the ECT unit. My psychiatrist told me they would call me to schedule me for ECT, but I have no clue when this will happen. I hate the waiting game. If they haven’t called me by Monday, then maybe I’ll call my psychiatrist to make sure the results of my physical are okay. Until then, all I can do is wait. I know that I will be doing ECT twice a week, Mondays and Fridays. I know that I want to start on a Monday so my husband can be there with me.

Physical

Physical

Today I go see my PCP to get a physical so I can start ECT again. I don’t like my doctor, especially since she was so disrespectful at my last appointment regarding my weight. However, I have lost about 5 pounds since I saw her, so maybe she won’t comment about my weight this time. Maybe she’ll even give me something to get rid of this head cold, I’ve had it since Friday and nothing seems to be helping it.

Anxious and Nervous

Anxious and Nervous

Yesterday was a very productive day. I cleaned the entire house; dusting, kitchen, bathrooms, vacuuming, and mopping. After that I even did a 40 minute Zumba video. I tried to stay busy to keep my mind occupied. I’m anxious and nervous about going back to ECT. I think I’m just worried about what will happen if it doesn’t work, or if it stops working again after some time. I’m running out of options, or at least it feels that way. I guess I’m just scared.

Anxiety Level Rising – Fears About Treatment

Anxiety Level Rising – Fears About Treatment

My anxiety finally started to lessen after my psych appointment yesterday. I think it’s the fact that I now have a plan of action regarding my bipolar depression. Today, I’m going to call and make an appointment with my PCP to get a physical, EKG, and blood work, which is required for me to start ECT again (because of the anesthesia). However, my anxiety started to rise again late last night. I think that now it’s the fear of going back to ECT.

What if it doesn’t work? Is there anything that can help me (and have it last for more than a few months)? What if it does work? Will I be doing this for the rest of my life? Will the medications he’s going to give me for the memory loss and migraines/jaw pain actually work? There are so many questions in my mind that will only be answered with time.