Today started off bad. I’m having problems with my Interstitial Cystitis, which is my bladder disorder. This is not the way I like to start off the day. IC causes pain, anxiety, and other problems. Oh well.
However, I will be going to visit a friend later today, so that makes my day better. It’s a friend I met from my old bipolar support group. It’s so great visiting with someone who understands exactly what I’m going through. I just have to get through each day one moment at a time.
For weeks now, I have been trying to decide whether or not I will be going to Cape Cod this summer. My family has been going since before I was born. For the past many years, I go for one week. Timing wise, I overlap with my sister, her husband, and their kids for one day. Then the rest of the time is just me and my mom. It’s great that I get to see my sister and her family. It’s fantastic that I get time just me and my mom. It’s my favorite vacation.
My mom and I get along so well, we’re more like best friends. We usually have the same ideas for what we want to do. We go and lay on the beach for a bit (just a one or two minute walk from the cottage), play some games, take naps, go to see a play, etc. We have the same taste in activities. When I go back home to Connecticut, I get to spend time with my mom, but it’s not the same. This is the only time we get to be alone together.
I’ve been questioning if I was going to go or not because of my bladder disorder. My interstitial cystitis is getting worse and I’m having to get treatments every week at this point. Plus, I would have to figure out where to get my weekly blood work done and where to get my prescription filled. It could be difficult, but am I really going to let these things get in the way of my vacation? I don’t think so. I think it’s time to start looking at plane tickets.
I’ve never been a person that likes meditation. Over the years, I’ve been told by many people that meditation will help me in many ways, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I was still against it for a few reasons, but the biggest reason is because it’s too difficult for me. My mind is always running a million miles an hour. How am I supposed to actually slow my brain down and think/focus on one thing? Also, I can never sit still for longer than a couple of minutes. Once I’m told to sit still, I start getting all fidgety. When I was in rehab, in 2004, we had to go to yoga class a couple of times a week. At the end of the class, there was a short meditation time that we were required to participate in. I always had such a hard time with it; plus, I never like to do something I’m told I have to do.
Last week, I received a package from my aunt containing a few CDs. Two of them were guided imagery to enhance healing for women with interstitial cystitis (a painful bladder disorder) and the other CD was called healing trauma, a guided imagery for PTSD. My first thought was that I didn’t want to use these CDs, but then I thought I would do some research. I found out that using guided meditation can actually help with the physical pain for interstitial cystitis. Suddenly, I became excited; there was a possibility to reduce my physical pain from the interstitial cystitis. I couldn’t believe that my aunt found these for me. She sent them to me with no pressure to use them. All she wanted was for me to have them in case I decided to try it.
I ended up trying the guided meditation CDs for interstitial cystitis the same day I received them. I decided to use the CDs every day for at least a month. I told my doctor about it and she agreed that it is very likely to be beneficial for my physical pain and for my emotional health. The guided meditation is getting a little easier every time. Even if I can slow my mind for just a few minutes, it would be better than nothing. At some point, I’ll try the CDs for PTSD, but right now, my bigger issue is my bladder disorder.
I have gone from being completely against meditation, to trying it every day for a month. I will let everyone know how effective it is for me. This has taught me to try to remain open to any possibilities in regards to improving my health. I’m grateful that my aunt is always looking out for me.