I’m here again on the couch, unable to sleep. This happened last night too, but I fell asleep after a couple of hours. Tonight, I’ve been trying to fall asleep for five hours with no luck. I don’t even have the heavy eyelids that I had yesterday. I consider that funny because all day long yesterday I could barely keep my eyes open and my body was hurting for some reason. Then the night comes, and all of that disappears. I’m wide awake. I figured I might as well do some writing.

I wonder why this is happening again. My Clozapine normally puts me to sleep within 20 minutes, I wonder why it’s not working the past couple nights. It normally works better than any sleeping medication I’ve ever been on. I have been dealing with more anxiety than normal. This is due to my gym workouts, going bowling (my husband and I enjoy going in the summer), my dog has another skin infection (it’s finally starting to improve), and dealing with a lot of bills. When it rains, it pours.

I don’t think I’m going to get any sleep tonight. Oh well, I’ll just have to deal with it for one night (hopefully that’s all it is). When I do finally fall asleep, I’m having very vivid dreams. I can remember the details. In one dream, I had kids. When I woke up, I realized that it wasn’t real and never will be.

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