It never stops. It’s just one thing, after another, after another, and so on. When can I catch a break?! Today, it was a notice I received in the mail last night. I’m stressed to the max. Just when I think it can’t go any farther or get any worse, something else happens. I’m not necessarily stressed so much this time because of what this issue is about, it’s just the fact that it’s another issue.
My husband kept trying to cheer me up, but that wasn’t helping. I explained to him that my real worries with this issue is that I might have to go somewhere that I don’t know in order to solve the issue. He offered to take care of that for me, which helped a lot. He said that I take care of him all the time, that now it’s his turn. I’m lucky to have a helpful and caring husband.
My husband went to 4 different grocery stores looking for my missing ingredient. I can’t believe how thoughtful he is. He knows that I struggle at the grocery store when it is busy, and it will be incredibly busy today. I can’t think of anyone else that would do that for me. I’m so lucky to have such a caring and thoughtful husband. He wasn’t able to find the ingredient, but it’s the thought that counts.
I decided to try a different ingredient so I could still make the chocolate mousse. I’m not so sure it worked out alright, but I tried. I won’t know until tomorrow if it worked or not.
It’s been tough not blogging lately. Blogging has been a great way for me to work through my issues, but it’s hard to do physically. That means, I’ve been holding in most of my emotions and not dealing with things in the best way. Luckily, my family has been there to help me with any issues going on. I also feel like I have support from this online community I’m a part of. Thank you to all of you.
I’ve talked to most of my family lately. It’s nice to know that my family supports me. In just 3 1/2 weeks, I’ll be in Cape Cod with my mom, my sister, and her family. There’s a chance I might even get to see my niece skate.
My husband came home with a bouquet of flowers two days ago. He said that he thought I could use a smile, something to lift me up. They’re red roses and white lilies. Lilies are my favorite. He’s so sweet. He does stuff like that randomly.
I’m still getting used to the new medication. This is the first medication that I have to take with a meal. All my (many) other meds don’t need to be taken with a meal. It’s hard to remember to take the Metformin with food, but I will get used to it eventually.
I’m feeling slightly better today. I’m still upset about being labeled totally and permanently disabled, even though it’s what I needed to have happen. At least I’m not crying today like I was last night. Plus, it’s just a label; it doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll be disabled forever, even though it feels like that sometimes. It just sucks because I’m already doing everything I can do and the result is not very good. Oh well, at least I’m trying. I am proud of myself for doing all that I can do, whether it helps or not. If I wasn’t working at being healthy, then I wouldn’t be able to take pride in that aspect of my life.
I talked to my husband this morning about how I’m feeling. He kept trying to make me feel better; it was sweet and thoughtful. At least he cares enough to try. I have to give him credit for that.
I did sleep last night, but I didn’t fall asleep until 5am. I slept for 5 hours, which isn’t too bad. It’s better than not sleeping at all. I find it odd to be depressed but not sleeping very much. Usually, when I’m depressed, I sleep all the time. So does that mean I’m in a mixed state? Or can I have symptoms of both depression and mania, and still be in a depression? I’m not sure how it works. Anyway, hopefully things will continue to improve, even if it’s only one tiny bit at a time.