Missing Ingredient

Yesterday, I offered to make my chocolate mousse and bring it to Thanksgiving. Then I went to the grocery store and couldn’t find all of the ingredients. I need two packages of Ladyfingers, but they only had one. The manager even checked in the back, but he couldn’t find any. That means that I have to go to the grocery store again today, on one of the busiest days of the year. I’m really nervous about that. I know I don’t have to make the dessert, they have plenty of food, but I want to, it’s really delicious. I’m going to go to the store soon, hopefully it won’t be too horribly busy. I’ll let you know how it goes.

How Much Can I Handle

My days seem to be getting busier. Once I get moving, I don’t stop until about 2 hours before bed. I honestly feel like I have too much going on; I’m going to burn out soon. I think this is why I’m having anxiety attacks every day; it may not be the whole reason, but it’s definitely one of the reasons.

I’m trying to prepare myself for Thanksgiving, but I don’t know if that’s possible. I don’t exactly know what I’m going to be walking into. There will be so many people there that I don’t know, and I’m extremely uncomfortable with that. I will know about 10 or 15 of the people there, the rest will be strangers to me. I can offer to help out in the kitchen, which can help reduce my anxiety, as long as there aren’t too many people in the kitchen already.

Valium will also help. Lately, I wish I could take Valium all day, every day. I won’t; I know it’s not safe, especially for me. I just need to get through the next couple weeks. I have to get through Thanksgiving, the family reunion, packing and traveling to Connecticut, a party in Connecticut, a friend’s party after I get back home, and then of course there is Christmas and New Years. After writing all of this out, it feels like there’s more to stress out about than I can handle.

Family Gatherings

Not only is Thanksgiving just around the corner, but we’re also having a family reunion next Sunday with my father-in-law’s side of the family. My husband is helping me prepare for Thanksgiving. I now know whose house it will be at and when we have to be there. I also know that there are going to be some people I don’t know, but I will just stick by the people that I know.

There are also going to be a lot of people at the family reunion that I haven’t met. I’m nervous about it, but also excited. I’ve heard stories about these people, but never met most of them. As long as I have my husband by my side, I should be okay. The Valium will also help. It’s a lot to deal with in such a small amount of time, but I think I’ll be able to manage.

Then shortly after that, my husband and I fly to Connecticut to spend a week with my family. I’m not anxious or worried about being with my family. Actually, I’m excited to spend time with family. The only thing I worry about is the traveling; I’ve done it before, I can do it again.

Thanksgiving Is Coming

I just realized that Thanksgiving is right around the corner! It’s next Thursday, November 24th. I don’t even know where I will be spending the holiday this year. My husband’s family take turn hosting holidays, thank goodness my house is too small to host a big holiday like that. I’m going to miss being at my aunt’s house for Thanksgiving. I always loved it so much; it was the perfect amount of love, laughter, family, and nuttiness. I know all of that will be at Thanksgiving at my in-law’s house, but it won’t be the same as what I grew up with.

It’s time that I start preparing for the holiday. I need to find out where it is and who might be coming. I just want to know how big the holiday celebration will be. I want to prepare myself as much as possible so I can have a good time at Thanksgiving dinner. The more I know, the more comfortable I may feel.

Holiday Shopping

It’s getting to be that time of the year, where there’s all sorts of family gatherings, cooking, and shopping. Personally, I love gift-giving, but I don’t wait until November or December to start shopping. My holiday shopping begins in January. I start by simply paying attention to what people say and then I keep a gift idea list. I also buy one or two gifts per month, that way I don’t go completely broke at the end of the year. This method also helps with birthday gifts.

I actually prefer to give gifts than receive them. By paying attention to people, I can get them creative gifts that they love and I get to see the people I care about smile and be happy. Seeing them happy is a gift to me. For this holiday season, I have only one gift left to buy, but I already know what it is that I’m going to get. I’m all done with my family and my husband’s family.

I’m Anti-Halloween

Am I the only person that doesn’t like Halloween? It feels like I’m the only one. Halloween parties are full of people trying to sneak up on you and scare you; I hate that. People are dressed in costumes and you don’t always know who is who. There is candy and junk food everywhere, which is normally hard enough, this juicing fast makes that almost impossible to get through.

My husband and I were invited to a Halloween party. He wants to go, but I don’t. I feel like he was disappointed when I said I didn’t want to go. He tried talking me into it. I’ll probably end up going and taking lots of Valium. I don’t see myself going to a party and enjoying myself.

If there are others out there that don’t like Halloween, please let me know and tell me what you do on Halloween night.

My Side of the Pole

Bipolar – Mental Health

Tag: Holidays