I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. My husband and I don’t really celebrate it. We will probably say “Happy Valentine’s day and I love you” but that’s all. No gifts. I don’t think there needs to be a designated day where we tell people we love them. My husband and I tell each other, “I love you” every day, which I’m very grateful for.
We are going to my mother-in-law’s house for a family get-together this afternoon. My step-daughter and my husband’s aunt both have birthdays today. I can’t wait to see my granddaughter. She’s walking now!
I don’t believe in New Years resolutions. I think that if you want to make a change to your life, start right away. What is the point of waiting? It seems like an excuse to put off making a change. At least that’s how it used to be for me. I do it throughout the year as well. For example, I say that I will start eating healthy again beginning next week. I did that a couple of weeks ago and it didn’t work that often. I keep finding excuses to push back the start date. If you want to make a change, do it as soon as possible. Don’t put off any changes you want to make.
I had a really nice Christmas yesterday with my husband and his family. The molasses cookies were a hit with everyone. Everything went well at his mother’s house and at his father’s house. It was a busy day, we were gone from 10am until 6:30pm. I miss my family in Connecticut very much, but I’m lucky to have family to spend my holidays with in Arizona. I have family no matter where I am.
My stepdaughter asked if my husband and I could babysit our granddaughter overnight on New Year’s Eve. We’re both very excited. This is the first time they’ve asked us to watch her. I’ll have her on my own for a couple hours until my husband gets home from work. I’m a little nervous, but extremely excited. This gives me something to look forward to all week long. Maybe they’ll even have us babysit more often. I can’t wait!
I’ve decided to bake molasses cookies for my husband today. They’re not just any molasses cookies, they’re his favorite cookies that his grandmother would make for him every holiday (she passed away several years ago). I’m really hoping that these cookies turn out right and make him smile when he gets home from work tonight.
I’m missing my family right now. There are so many traditions that my family have that I will not be able to be a part of because I live in Arizona. I have my own traditions here with my husband’s family, but nothing will take place of the traditions I grew up with. I do have a good time with his family, but I will always miss what I grew up with. At least I got to participate in some of our traditions when I went home a few weeks ago. We put up our tree, put up some lights, and set up the Snowbabies. I enjoyed all of those things; it’s better than doing nothing.
I’ve decided that I’m going to make the most of my Christmas in Arizona. I love my husband’s family; I think of them as my own family. The best part is that I get to spend time with my granddaughter.
I went to the Celebration of Christmas yesterday with my husband and his father’s side of the family. There were seven of us. I already knew everyone, so that made it more comfortable for me. We also had the best seats in the house. I didn’t realize how big the show was. There were hundreds of people there, maybe even more than a thousand. We got there early. I took a half of a Valium, just enough to take the edge off the anxiety. It worked perfectly and I was able to enjoy the fantastic show. Then we all went out to dinner together. It was really nice to spend that time with my father-in-law’s side of the family. We don’t spend enough time together, but we’re working on it.
My psychiatrist prescribes me Valium 10mg twice a day as needed for my anxiety. I do my best not to take it that often. My last one month prescription of Valium last me six months. I take it only when necessary and only the amount that I need. Valium can be addictive and I don’t want to risk my sobriety. It’s better safe than sorry. Plus, the less often I take it, the better it works.
With the holidays just around the corner, there are a lot of family gatherings and obligations I have to uphold. They family stuff starts today. We’re going to a church to see a musical theater Christmas production with my father-in-law. I may not be a big fan of holidays and churches, but I definitely love the theater. My father-in-law and his girlfriend have invited us to this event for several years and this is the first time we are able to go. I expect to have a lot of anxiety leading up to this event, but once I’m there and in my seat I will feel much better.
We have several gatherings to attend over the next 8 or 9 days. Some I’m more excited about that others. I wish that some of the people we saw on Christmas or Christmas Eve were my side of the family, but I know that’s not possible. I did just spend a week back in Connecticut with my family, but I always miss every single person when the holidays come around.
I did a little bit of decorating today. I put up our small prelit Christmas tree and our stockings, that’s all. I also wrapped all of the Christmas gifts. I don’t feel a need to put up anything more. We don’t do Christmas Eve or Christmas Day at our house and we don’t have small children, so there’s no need for us to decorate unless we want to. I just haven’t had the energy to do so. Plus, we’ve helped both my mom and my mother-in-law put up decorations. That’s enough for me, at least for now.
Thanksgiving ended up going pretty well. There were 17 people there, which is less than I was expecting. I knew all but 6 people, and I only took one Valium. I stayed close to the people I knew. At one point, one of my cousins asked how I handle large groups of people because he could see that I was anxious. I told him some of my tricks, like sitting in a corner or staying close to my husband. After dinner, several of us sat around the fire pit. I sat next to one family member who I’m very comfortable with and had a great conversation. That was the only part of the day that felt natural and easy.
The important part to remember is that I made it through the day. In the beginning, I wasn’t so sure if I was going to make it, but I did. Staying close to those I’m comfortable with really made the day possible.
I want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you all are able to be with and/or talk to your loved ones on this special day. I leave at 2:30pm to go to our cousin’s house, where there will be a lot of people. I’ll let you know how I do when I get home. I have several coping mechanisms that I can use if my anxiety gets to be too much. I’m going in with a positive attitude.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!