Tag: Pushing Through

Connecting with Others – Getting Through the Weekend

Connecting with Others – Getting Through the Weekend

I don’t think I’m going to try going to another meeting today. They are so much busier on the weekends, and I’m not ready for that yet, at least not alone. I’m not giving up; I’ll go on Monday. I’m glad that I started going back to meetings. I missed the community and friendships. However, for now, I have lots to do while I’m home. Cleaning and packing is a lot of work.

Yesterday’s ECT seemed harder than usual, but my husband says that I say that every time, I just don’t remember due to the memory loss from the treatments. Last night, we went to my husband’s best friend’s house. We just played some card games. It was difficult, but I pushed myself through it. I think it’s important to hang out with people and have fun. Maybe it’s not the best idea to do it on a day that I had ECT, but I know that I will always find a reason not to do things, so last night, I just figured why not.

Rough Day By Myself

Rough Day By Myself

Yesterday was a rough day. I couldn’t get myself to do almost anything. I did force myself to do a couple of things, but I had a lot more on my to-do list that did not get done. Normally, I do much better when I’m home by myself, but yesterday was not one of those days. Maybe it was my way of letting go of all the buildup from Thanksgiving. However, I have a family reunion tomorrow that I need to mentally prepare for. I will be cooking in the morning so I can bring some food with me to the get-together. I will be meeting some people for the first time. This is very anxiety provoking. I’m very thankful for Valium.

I have to really push myself harder. There’s only a couple of more days until I leave for Connecticut. I’m half ecstatic and half stressed/overwhelmed. I guess I’m worried about the unknown. That’s almost always what I worry about. Maybe I need to focus more on what I do know and less about the unknown.

Improvements

Improvements

My day actually got better as it went on, which is rare. I ended up doing some cleaning because I just couldn’t stand the dog hair anymore. Then I received a call from my mother-in-law asking if I wanted to come over and play some cards. I was just about to say no, when I ended up saying yes. I told her that I was struggling with some depression, but getting out of the house was probably a good idea. I wasn’t able to smile or laugh while I was over there, but I was able to get through the day without wishing I was dead the entire time. Sometimes, it’s important to push through, and that’s what I did by getting out of the house. I pushed through the pain and it actually helped.

When I got home, there were flowers on the counter. My husband went out and got me my favorite flowers, tiger lilies, and left them there for me to see when I got home. He can be so sweet and thoughtful. I made sure to tell him how much it meant that he did that for me. For a day that started out really horrible, it is actually ending all right. I pushed through the pain, and today it paid off.