Author: My Side of the Pole

I'm a 32 year old married woman who has been dealing with Bipolar disorder since the age of 14. This is all about my life, diagnoses, and treatments. If you have any questions, just ask me. I hope that others with Bipolar Disorder or PTSD can relate to my blog and find it helpful.

Flower Food

Flower Food

The flowers my husband gave me 9 days ago are still beautiful. I use a do-it-yourself flower food and I also cut the stems of the flowers about 0.5 to 1 inch every few days (depending on how long the stems are). For the flower food, I use:

  • a few pinches of sugar
  • a couple squeezes of lemon juice
  • a small splash of bleach
  • luke warm water

I trim off any dead or dying leaves when I see them and I replace the water and flower food every few days when I trim the stems. I just thought I would share this with you because it has made my flowers last twice as long.

Check out the following website, which is where I got the flower food recipe from. The recipe I use is a little different (I only changed it because my vase didn’t have enough room for the suggested recipe).

Kitchn: How To Keep Cut Flowers Longer

 

 

Tax Time Is Coming

Tax Time Is Coming

Life is starting to get back to normal, now that Cash is starting to feel better. I’m exhausted from all of my extra anxiety and worrying over the last few days. I’m trying to do a few things that I’ve been putting off for a while. The biggest thing is gathering all of my information for taxes. Tax time is pretty overwhelming, especially since I know I’m going to owe money this year. I’m trying to gather my tax documents a little bit at a time in order to reduce the stress.

 

Cash’s Update

Cash’s Update

The vet’s office called and told me to stop by and pick up some pain medication for him, which I did immediately. My husband also mentioned inflatable e-collars, which I did not know they have. The regular plastic e-collars are so difficult for both humans and dogs. The inflatable ones are awesome!

Cash can now lay down and get somewhat comfortable. The pain meds are helping, but I know he’s still sore. I’m starting to feel a little better. I’ve been so anxious, worried, overwhelmed, and afraid for the past couple of days. All of that is finally starting to subside so I can be anxious and overwhelmed about my everyday life again.

Waiting For The Vet

Waiting For The Vet

Last night, I couldn’t get Cash to lay down. I could tell it was painful for him. Eventually, he laid down because he fell asleep and fell over. I’m waiting for the vet to return my phone call. Cash shouldn’t be this uncomfortable.

I slept out on the couch so I could be close to him in case he needed anything. Other than not being able to lay down, he’s doing great. Hopefully, the vet will give him some pain meds.

Cash Is Home From A Successful Surgery

Cash Is Home From A Successful Surgery

Cash is home from the vets office. He did great in surgery. They removed a total of 16 lumps, including the one on his eyelid. They were all just under the skin, so nothing major occurred during surgery. He looks a little like a jig-saw puzzle. He has to wear the e-collar for two weeks. The stitches come out on February 16th. He’s still coming out of the sedation right now. He can’t decided if he wants to sit or lay down. It probably hurts him to lay down because of the incisions.

Waiting To Hear

Waiting To Hear

I just dropped Cash off at the vet for his surgery. We found even more lumps on him during his intake. The tech said that the vet will look him over again to make sure they get all of the lumps. He will be coming home today with an e-collar and stitches all over the place. They will also be trimming his nails to make it harder for him to scratch the incisions. I’m worried about him. I’m sure he’ll be okay, but I can’t wait to get that phone call from the vet saying he’s all done. Until then, I’m going to be keeping myself busy to make the time go faster. I’ll let you know how he’s doing when I know.

Good News From The Vet

Good News From The Vet

We just got home from the vet and it is good news. Cash is already snuggled up in his bed. He did really good at the vet’s office. None of the lumps appear to be a problem. The vet did find a little mass on Cash’s eyelid. He said that the tiny eyelid mass was more of an issue than any of the other many lumps on his stomach and ribs. He’s going to remove all of the lumps tomorrow, including the one on his eyelid, and it’s only going to cost $195! That’s much cheaper than I was expecting. We drop Cash off tomorrow morning and then we get to pick him up later in the afternoon. I’m so happy that the vet wasn’t concerned by any of the lumps.

New Lump On My Dog

New Lump On My Dog

I just found a new lump on my dog. It’s different from the other lumps he has. He’s an older dog (he’s 11), so finding lumps is not abnormal, however, this new one is unlike any other lump I’ve seen on him. So we’re going to the vet tomorrow at 10am. I’m hoping that he’s okay, but I’m worried. I asked my husband to come with me as support. I’ll keep you updated after tomorrow’s appointment.

Getting Through Another Day

Getting Through Another Day

Today is feeling like just another day with depression. No matter what I’m doing, my thoughts are constantly wishing I wasn’t around. My mind keeps telling me a wide variety negative things. I try to find something that I enjoy doing to help me get through the day, I use my wellness toolbox. Today, I’m going to a Coyotes game. I love hockey and I love the Coyotes! We’re playing the LA Kings. Going to the games can be tough because they’re so crowded, but my husband helps me through it all. Only 4 hours until we leave to go to the game. I’m hoping I’ll feel even a little better once I’m watching the game.

Handling My Depression

Handling My Depression

I’m in the midst of another depression. Each day I just try to figure out how to make it through. I make a to-do list and try to get everything done on that list. Staying busy helps the days go by quicker, but actually doing anything is more than difficult. I can’t even find the right words to describe how hard it is to really do things. Yesterday was a decent day according to how active I was. I cleaned the whole house and did the laundry. It didn’t make me feel any better, but it did make the day go by faster.

However, today is not going as well. I’m having a hard time getting myself moving. I just don’t care that much about anything. But I am trying to put on a face; I don’t like showing the people around me how depressed I really am. So I put on a fake smile and talk like there is nothing wrong.