Sometimes, I wish I was hypomanic. I know that sounds bad, but I’ve been dealing with depression and suicidal ideations for so long, it would be nice to have a change. I don’t want to be in a complete manic episode with the negative effects such as uncontrollable spending or impulsive actions. I want hypomania, where I have enough energy so I can get everything done that needs to be done. In my hypomanic state, I’m energetic, I come up with a lot of ideas, I’m sociable (which normally scares me), and I feel happy. It would be nice to feel like that for a few days. I know it’s not healthy, but I’m so tired of depression that I would do just about anything to take a break from it.
I’ve been feeling like this and hoping for hypomania for several months now. I’m just curious if there are other people who feel the same way. I’m just wondering if I’m alone in this train of thought. I swing from one episode to another without much of a break to enjoy life. Is it so bad to desire a break from it all? My hypomania is pretty much a break because I’m able to enjoy most of it. Do others desire any specific episode?