Bipolar Depression Prescription Commercial

Any time that I’m home, my TV is turned on. I’m usually not watching what is actually on TV, it’s just background noise. There are so many commercials on TV that promote prescription drugs to help depression. I do believe in prescription medications, but I don’t like that some individuals, with no mental health experience, now tries to relate to what we go through with our diagnoses.

There’s a difference between sympathy and empathy. I don’t want anyone’s pity, but it would be nice to have others trying to understand. In my experience, only those that deal with the same things that I deal with, can understand how I feel. I don’t think it’s possible to truly understand what a person goes through unless you go through it as well. My family members do their best to understand what I deal with, and I greatly appreciate that because they do it without pitying me.

Reaching Out

I normally am not the person that reaches out to others, not to friends or family. So, I’ve decided that it is something I need to work on. I have friends that reach out to me, and I only sometimes respond to them. It’s important to be the one who reaches out first because I want my friends to know that I care about them. I feel the same way about reaching out to my family.

Even a simple text message let people know you are thinking about them. Sometimes, just a text message can ignite a conversation. It would be great to talk to friends and family, but it is sometimes extremely hard for me to send a text message. I’m going to write it on my to-do list; if it’s on my list, it will get done.

Isolation

Many people who have bipolar disorder or other mental health disorders tend to struggle with isolation. My husband and family think that I struggle with isolation. Technically, they may be right, but I would rather be by myself than with others. Being social, whether with friends or family, is almost always a challenge. I’m always afraid to say the wrong thing, and I’m fearful of people or things I don’t know. I’m afraid of a lot of things.

I prefer isolation because it’s easier for me to handle. I have fewer panic/anxiety attacks when I stay home. I don’t get bored; I tend to keep myself company. I find things to do during the day to keep myself busy. Many people get bored and struggle when they have to stay home by themselves. I know that my family is just trying to help me by getting me out of the house. Just because some people struggle to stay home alone, doesn’t mean I struggle as well. It’s healthy and important get out sometimes, but I also know my own boundaries. For me, sometimes it’s better for me to stay home. I guess I just have to find a happy medium, some sort of balance between isolation and socialization.

Putting Myself Out There

I’m trying really hard to put myself out there in the world. Not because I want to, but because my husband and family want me to. Also, I know it’s the right thing to do, it’s the healthy thing to do both mentally and emotionally. I’ve been going to a support group, which is very hard for me to do, but it will be helpful, once I become comfortable in the group. Yesterday evening, I met up with a couple of friends. I’m so happy I did that. It was great to see them and talk to them. It is very important to meet up with friends, but it’s hard to do that and other social things when dealing with a major depression. I’m also trying to reach out a little more to my family, specifically my siblings. I don’t know why it’s so hard to reach out to others. Maybe because I don’t have much to talk about on my end. I don’t really know what to say when they ask me how I’m doing. Any suggestions on how to respond to the how are you doing question? All I can think of is, “I’m hanging in.”

Homesick

I grew up in Connecticut, but I currently live in Arizona. Being that far away from my family is extremely hard for me. Family is very important to me; it’s a struggle not being able to see them whenever I want. Thankfully, I see my mom every 3 months, but I don’t always see the rest of my family. I’m excited because in less than 6 weeks, I will get to see my whole family. I’m counting the days now!

There have been several moments where I came close to caving and asking my mom to bring me home, but I stuck it out. I get home sick for Connecticut fairly often. Especially this time of year, I miss the fall foliage; I deeply miss the beauty of New England. When I struggle with homesickness, my anxiety is almost always increased.

I’m lucky to get along with all of my in-laws. However, sometimes the more time I spend with my in-laws, the more I miss my own family. No matter how much time I spend with my in-laws or how well we get along, I still miss my family. I wonder if being homesick this often is normal.

Generally, when I’m in Connecticut, I miss my husband and friends and want to go back to Arizona. When I’m in Arizona, I miss my family and want to be in Connecticut. No matter where I am, I want to be somewhere else. Does anyone have thoughts on the subject? Do other people get along with their family as well as I do?

Day One: Enjoying Myself

It’s my first day of vacation, and things are going pretty well so far. I went to the beach with my family. Normally, I just lay on the beach and don’t go in the water. I don’t like the water; it doesn’t matter if it’s the ocean, a lake, or even a pool, I’m just not a fan. I think it’s because I’m uncomfortable in a bathing suit around anyone and everyone. It was so hot out today, and I went into the ocean all the way up to my stomach. I was so proud of myself. I even had my mom take a picture so I have proof when I tell my husband about it.

I only stayed on the beach for about an hour or so; I don’t want to get a sunburn on day one. Now, I get to relax in the cottage, spend some quality time with my nephew, and maybe even take a quick nap (I still haven’t adjusted to the 3 hour time change). Then, we all had a nice evening out. We went to a great restaurant, did some shopping, and then went to get ice cream. I’m happy to be here with my family. I just wish my husband was here with me, but he’ll come out here with me next year.

Traveling All Day

I’m at the airport and already through security. For some reason, I have a middle seat. Oh well, I have medication if I need it. That’s what Valium is for. I’m nervous, but I keep telling myself I can do this. I’m keeping my anxiety low so far. I have a 5 hour flight and a 2 hour bus ride right after. It will all be worth it when I’m with my family.

Know Your Fears, Balance Your Emotions

I am a worrier. In any situation, my mind usually thinks of all the things that could go wrong. I worry about my family, my friends, my dog, my own life, and the future; so, to sum it up, I worry about almost everything. Worrying takes up a lot of my energy. I wish I was able to control it, but so far, I’ve been unsuccessful at that. However, I am getting better at it.

My grandmother was admitted to the hospital today. The doctors ruled out a stroke, but they still don’t know what’s wrong with her. They admitted her to the ICU; she is not in critical condition, they just felt that they could monitor her better there. When I first found out, I was thinking that I should fly home so I could be there with her, for my benefit, not hers. Luckily, I was able to talk myself down into thinking reasonably. I know that my mom would let me know if I needed to come home.

Feeling concerned about someone or something is one thing, but obsessive worrying is taking it too far. Most of the emotions I feel are to the extreme; I need to learn to find balance. I didn’t call my mom 10 times today to see how things were going. I called one and sent a couple of text messages. I’m learning how to handle my emotions and conduct myself in difficult situations. My first reaction is never the right or appropriate one, but, with a lot of work, I can talk myself through rough circumstances.

Support, Love, and Meds

It’s been tough not blogging lately. Blogging has been a great way for me to work through my issues, but it’s hard to do physically. That means, I’ve been holding in most of my emotions and not dealing with things in the best way. Luckily, my family has been there to help me with any issues going on. I also feel like I have support from this online community I’m a part of. Thank you to all of you.

I’ve talked to most of my family lately. It’s nice to know that my family supports me. In just 3 1/2 weeks, I’ll be in Cape Cod with my mom, my sister, and her family. There’s a chance I might even get to see my niece skate.

My husband came home with a bouquet of flowers two days ago. He said that he thought I could use a smile, something to lift me up. They’re red roses and white lilies. Lilies are my favorite. He’s so sweet. He does stuff like that randomly.

I’m still getting used to the new medication. This is the first medication that I have to take with a meal. All my (many) other meds don’t need to be taken with a meal. It’s hard to remember to take the Metformin with food, but I will get used to it eventually.

Another Day

I was in a big car accident over the weekend, but I can’t talk or write about it until my lawyer settles everything. I won’t be writing as much because it is very difficult right now.

I’m going to get a rental car so I can get around for a little while. I’m nervous to drive, but it will be okay. Today, we get to go see my father-in-law. He’s an amazing guy. I’m looking forward to seeing him. Today is just another day, hopefully.

My Side of the Pole

Bipolar – Mental Health

Category: Family