I find myself isolating more and more. I feel the depression getting worse as each day goes by. I have no desire to talk to people, and when I do talk to people, it’s difficult. Writing is also difficult. I guess I just don’t have anything I think is worth sharing with others. That is not normal for me; that’s the depression. Usually, I’m a very talkative person, but now. Right now, I would prefer to stay home and do nothing, but that’s not always possible. I do the best I can when I’m out in public and when I’m talking to others, but it’s getting harder as each day passes.
Many people diagnosed with bipolar disorder and other mental health disorders frequently tend to isolate, often without realizing it. Isolation is an unhealthy symptom of bipolar disorder. Isolation can fuel depression, then the depression makes the person want to isolate even more. If it wasn’t for my husband and family, who encourages me to get out of the house and talk to friends, then I probably wouldn’t see or talk to anyone.
I like to isolate, is it wrong that I would rather be alone than with people? I prefer to be by myself. I don’t get bored or lonely, at least not lately, and it’s a lot less stress when I’m alone. If it were up to me, I would only leave the house to run errands and go to appointments. But I know that’s not healthy. For me, it’s more work to be around people than it is to be alone. There are a lot of times when I don’t want to go out, but I do; then I’m glad I ended up going out. I have to remember that sometimes I enjoy myself when I go out. I can’t give up on socializing.
Many people who have bipolar disorder or other mental health disorders tend to struggle with isolation. My husband and family think that I struggle with isolation. Technically, they may be right, but I would rather be by myself than with others. Being social, whether with friends or family, is almost always a challenge. I’m always afraid to say the wrong thing, and I’m fearful of people or things I don’t know. I’m afraid of a lot of things.
I prefer isolation because it’s easier for me to handle. I have fewer panic/anxiety attacks when I stay home. I don’t get bored; I tend to keep myself company. I find things to do during the day to keep myself busy. Many people get bored and struggle when they have to stay home by themselves. I know that my family is just trying to help me by getting me out of the house. Just because some people struggle to stay home alone, doesn’t mean I struggle as well. It’s healthy and important get out sometimes, but I also know my own boundaries. For me, sometimes it’s better for me to stay home. I guess I just have to find a happy medium, some sort of balance between isolation and socialization.