Tag: Grandchild

Very Productive

Very Productive

Yesterday was such a busy day, I didn’t get home until around 11pm. We got a lot done. My husband and I both got haircuts; it had been over a year since I got my hair cut. I kept putting it off out of fear. I was afraid to have someone standing behind me with scissors, and I couldn’t remember anywhere I had previously cut my hair. After that, we dealt with some car insurance stuff that had to get done. My husband had his tires rotated. We went shopping for some warmer clothes to wear while we are back east. We visited with my mother-in-law for a little while. We spent a couple of hours getting new phones. And finally, we spent some time at a friend’s house. Overall, it was a busy day, and I’m exhausted.

It was nice to get so much done, but it would have been easier if we spread it out a little more. Tomorrow, I have an appointment with my therapist, then a chest x-ray. Then I get to see my granddaughter at my mother-in-law’s house. I can’t wait to see her. I will only be staying a couple of hours. I need some time for me, some time to rest.

Can I Handle Halloween

Can I Handle Halloween

As we all now, Halloween is tonight, and I have a lot of anxiety because of that. I don’t think there are kids that trick or treat on my street, but I will keep the lights out on my house. My husband works tonight, so it will be just me and my dog until about 9pm. I just hope my dog doesn’t bark all night. I’ll probably put his Thundershirt on him to help keep him calm. I can’t remember how other Halloween nights have been, so this all feels like new to me.

At 5pm, I get to see my granddaughter all dressed up.That gives me something to look forward to today. I think that it will help me get through the day today and minimize my anxiety attacks. I will let you know tomorrow how well I handle Halloween night. Hopefully, I can keep the anxiety and panic attacks to a minimum.

Celebrating My Husband’s Birthday

Celebrating My Husband’s Birthday

Today is  my husband’s birthday. We’re going to celebrate at his mom’s house with anywhere from 5 to 19 people. I wish I knew how many people to expect. However, I should be used to this by now. This is how it usually ends up going for every birthday and holiday. I’m looking forward to seeing my step-kids and my granddaughter. I have a good relationship with my step-kids; it’s always nice to see them and be a part of their lives. I get along with everyone in his family; I just sruggle with not knowing what I’m walking into. I also struggle with crowded spaces, but it will be fine. I’m grateful to get together with his family.

I plan on taking today off from working out. My husband and I have been enjoying great workouts. Yesterday we ended up just doing cardio, but it was a good workout. I’m hoping to lose some weight; I’ve gained a lot of weight during this depression that I’ve been going through. To be exact, I’ve gained 39 pounds. That’s way too much; it’s time that I turn this around. And it’s so much easier working on losing weight with my husband. I’m happy to have the support and encouragement; we are there to help each other reach our goals.

Getting Through The Days

Getting Through The Days

I went to the gym with my husband today. We had a great workout. I’m proud of myself for not pushing too hard. I normally push past the pain, and then I end up regretting it later. I’ve had a lot of knee pain over the years. I had a double knee surgery to correct the misalignment of my knees in 2009. I know that I’m going to need another knee surgery at some point, but I don’t want that to be any time soon. So it’s important not to push myself too hard on certain exercises, such as weighted squats and lunges.

After our workout, we went to visit with my father-in-law. We don’t see him often enough. He’s so nice and easy to get along with. We’re going to see him tomorrow too. My husband’s birthday is on Wednesday, he’ll be 42. I told him it’s like turning 21, twice. We’ll see his mom on Wednesday; she wants to through a ‘party’ for him. I’m a bit apprehensive because I don’t know who will be there. I just found out that she invited some aunts, uncles, and cousins. I like everyone; that’s not the problem. It’s just difficult when there are that many people in one house. My husband even said that all he wanted was for me, his mom and her boyfriend, his brother, and his kids to get together; but that’s not what’s happening. Plus, we want to see our granddaughter. The more people who are there, the less time we get to spend with her.

No matter what the circumstances, it will all work out okay. It just means that I will probably end up taking a Valium before I get to the party. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s just another thing that adds stress. But I’d rather have too much family than not enough of it. We’re lucky to have loving and caring family on both sides; his family and my family. Having family that cares and supports us is wonderful.

Family Dinner

Family Dinner

My husband and I decided that we want to see our granddaughter; it’s been about a week since we’ve seen her, and so we invited his daughter and boyfriend over for dinner. This all happened last night, and the dinner is tonight. That’s a lot for me to handle. I have to clean the entire house and cook a meal. Then, my husband decided he would invite his mother over because she doesn’t get to see the baby very often. It’s a very sweet thought, but it doesn’t mean more work for him, just more for me. Then I realized I can make lasagna! I made some lasagna with my mom when she was out here last time. I don’t have to do anything, just heat it up from frozen!

Okay, so now all I need to do is clean the house, do laundry, and make garlic bread. That’s not that bad. However, cleaning the house will take a while; there’s dog hair everywhere, even though I cleaned the whole house just a couple of days ago. I also have to figure out where people can eat. There’s not enough room in our house for our dining room table, at least not the way I want it. A couple of people can eat at the counter, there are bar stools there. And then there’s the couch and the desk. I can make that work.

Why is it so stressful having people come over your house? Is it just me, or are other people like this as well? I feel like my house needs to be sparkling clean and organized if I’m having any company over. At least all I need to do is clean the house; I have more time to do it since I don’t have to cook. I don’t think I’ve ever had this many people at my house at one time, so I’m a bit anxious. I’m sure it will all work out, but I will  probably worry about it all day.

 

Time With My Granddaughter

Time With My Granddaughter

Last night, my step daughter invited me and my husband over for dinner. We were both really excited because it meant that we would get to spend time with our granddaughter, who is almost 8 months old. Sometimes, I have a difficult time getting into ‘play time mode’ with her. My emotions take over and I often can’t help but feel sad because I can’t have children of my own. Of course, it is sad that I cannot have children, but it was a choice I made because I felt (and still feel) that it was the right thing to do. However, I do not want my emotions to get in the way of my relationship with my granddaughter or either of my grown step-kids.

Well, last night was different. It took me a little while to get into the swing of things, but after about 30 minutes, I was able to play with her. I could act goofy, play peek-a-boo, and play tickle monster with her. It felt amazing. She started to laugh for and at me. Simply seeing the joy on her face and watching her smile made my heart fill with delight. The fact that I could make her laugh and smile was breathtaking and I can’t wait to see her again. Plus, I continue to get closer with my step-daughter and her boyfriend. Watching the two of them become responsible adults is so wonderful; I can’t even imagine how great it must feel for my husband to watch them grow into mature and reliable adults.

After my husband and I got home, I started shopping online for clothes and toys to give to our granddaughter. I enjoy the shopping. In fact, I’ve tried to explain to my husband that the shopping is more for me than for her. Now, I just have to wait until I see my granddaughter again in one or two weeks. However, I will get to see my step-son in the next couple days, which is also exciting. I love my family and they do bring me so much joy. They can bring me temporary joy, but the depression is still there. At least they give me a break from it.