I went to group last night; I had accidentally forgotten to go last week. I was nervous, but I was also looking forward to going. I had a lot on my mind; plus, I had just dropped dinner and dealt with that situation. I want to be going to a group every week; I’m looking for something that will be a part of my normal schedule. I don’t think that this group can give that to me, but it’s still important to go to a group to have support from other people like me.
I waited 20 minutes for someone to show up, but no one came. I was going to just turn right around and go home, but I thought it would be better to stay. I had already gotten myself to the group, which is not an easy task, I might as well stay to see if someone show’s up. They could have made some kind of announcement last week, which I did not attend, saying that group was canceled, I’ll never know. When the time was up and no one comes, I turned around and went home. I’m still giving myself credit for going there and trying.
I forgot to go to my support group this past Thursday night. I had every intention of going, but I just forgot. I didn’t go last week because of my anniversary, but I have no excuses this week. I even remember telling my therapist on Wednesday that I was going to go the following day, and then I let it slip my mind. I suppose I have to write my support group on my to-do list. I really want to go, I know it will be helpful in the long run.
There’s another group on Tuesdays that seems interesting. I want to check it out. Maybe I can have my husband drive by there with me so I know where I’m going before I actually go to that group. It’s farther away from my house than the Thursday night, but you never know where you will find what you’re looking for.
Group therapy is not something I like very much, but I am getting some of it from the depression support group I started going to. It’s great to get feedback from others who are going through the same type of situations. Having people understand what you’re dealing with is a nice change of pace. Trying to explain yourself to people can be exhausting.
As long as I am comfortable with the people in the group, then I would feel fine opening up to the other group members, but it takes quite a while for me to become comfortable with new people. I’m trying very hard with the new group I attend on Thursday nights. I’ve been there 3 times now and I plan to keep going, except for next week (my anniversary).
One of the things I struggle with at support groups is sitting still while others speak. I don’t mind listening to others at all, but I do have a hard time sitting still, especially if I’m dealing with anxiety. I tend to rock back and forth or fidget with my fingers. I try my hardest not to do that, but I do think that other group members understand how hard it is to sit down for 2 hours. At this point, I have committed to going to this new group, hoping that something positive can come out of it.
I went to the same support group last night; that’s three weeks in a row. I didn’t stay as long because I wanted to get home to my husband, who just had an epidural a couple hours before the group started. The first two times, I found some things to be frustrating about the group, but it was probably all of my fears since it was new to me. However, yesterday went really well. Nothing was frustrating. It was actually enjoyable. I think I will continue going back. I won’t be going next week because it is 3rd anniversary with my husband.
There’s another support group that’s somewhat close to me and I’ve been thinking about trying that one as well. I’m nervous about that because it’s new to me. But the one I go to now was new just a few weeks ago, and I made that one work.
Pretending to be positive about things is more exhausting than I thought it was. It works, but it is extremely tiring. I am planning on going back to the support group I tried out last week. I need to go there regularly in order to get used to it. Once I get used to this group, I really think that there’s a good chance of it being helpful in multiple ways. There’s another group that’s not too far from my house that I’ve thought about going to on Tuesday nights.I think I’m going to try one new and scary thing at a time. It is nice to know that there are others out there just like me who are willing to be there for each other.
I also had a hard time getting my 2 week prescription of Clozapine. I’ll know later today if and when I can pick up the prescription. I’m not very happy with Walgreens right now.
Last night, I went to a new support group. My panic attack first hit at 4pm (the meeting was at 5:30pm). I took a Valium and that helped a bit. When it got to the time that I had to leave to go to the meeting, my nerves shot up again. I started texting with a friend who was supportive and encouraging. I entered the room where the meeting was to take place, and I started pacing back and forth. My friend helped keep me calm again.
I sat down at the table and I was happy to see that this was a small meeting of only 6 people. I prefer smaller meetings because each person has more time to share. Plus, large groups increase my anxiety. My leg was shaking the whole time under the table. There was nothing I could do to stop it; it’s something I do when I get anxious. I shared for a couple of minutes at one point during the meeting. I made it through the entire meeting despite my anxiety. I have no reason not to go back again next week. I can only assume that I will become more comfortable with the group over time.
I’ve been saying for a while now that I will try a new support group, but I just don’t do it. I’m too scared of new things. I miss what my old support group did for me. I met a lot of people there that I really care about and it felt great to have people understand what I was going through. I want that part of my life back.
Last week, someone from my old support group asked me if I knew of any other support groups. I did some research for him and ended up using the information for myself. It’s so much easier to do something for others than it is to do something for yourself. I’m extremely nervous, but in a couple of hours, I will be going to a new support group. My husband and I drove over there the other day to check out where is so I don’t get lost when I go today. I will post again either later today or tomorrow to let you all know how it went.