Please check out my most recent article on The International Bipolar Foundation (IBPF) blog. The article, Traveling Easier, talks about how I manage to travel, specifically through airports. Please check it out.
You can find my posts on the IBPF website here.
Warning: I am not a medical professional of any kind. The following blog is written from my personal experience alone and has not been reviewed by a professional.
I feel odd writing about this because I struggle on a daily basis to eat healthy, but it is an important subject. Unhealthy foods are known to trigger mood swings in individuals with bipolar disorder. It’s important to work at having a balanced diet. Your body requires a healthy diet in order to function properly; it helps to reduce the severity and frequency of bipolar mood swings and episodes. It also helps people maintain a healthy weight, which is a known issue for many individuals with bipolar disorder.
Fruits and vegetables are vital to our diet, and they are probably my biggest struggle when it comes to healthy eating. The only time I got in enough fruits and vegetables was when I was juicing, and I’m no longer doing that. I also struggle with whole grains and dairy, which are also important. No matter what we put in our bodies, I believe balance to be the most important. Even though I struggle with healthy eating and balance, at least I keep on trying.
My psychiatrist appointment yesterday went really well. First of all, I love the fact that he is always on time, he never runs late. The only medication change is an increase in Cytomel, my thyroid medication, because my thyroid level is off in my last blood work. Other than that, my suicidal ideations are about the same, my anxiety is worse, and my depression is improving slightly. He also said that my twitching that happens because of the Lithium should not be getting any worse and is not a permanent side effect. That’s not that bad. I go back to see him in three months, unless I decide to retry ECT, which is not something I want to do at this point.
I have an appointment with my psychiatrist later today. I’m all ready for it; I have my list of things I want to talk to him already in my purse so I don’t forget it. Now, all I have to do is get through the appointment. I always wonder what he thinks of me. Does he think I’m ridiculous because there’s nothing that can help me regularly? Probably not; he is the one that diagnosed me as bipolar 1, rapid cycling and treatment resistant. I probably think I’m ridiculous more than other people do. I think those type of things about myself more than other people do. Well, here’s to hoping the appointment goes well. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Just like everything else in my life, things only work for me if I do it on a regular basis. I need patterns to get things done. For example, I get up and do the same activities every morning. I run errands around the same time every day. I keep my doctor appointments around the same time. The same is true for working out.
I started a workout routine last week. I workout at least 3 days a week. Eventually, I want to get to 5 days a week. I try to start my workout, usually Zumba videos, shortly after my husband goes to work. I also go to the gym once or twice a week with my husband. I have to make sure that this becomes a regular activity, otherwise the workouts will not stick. I have to find some way to workout while I’m traveling. Even if it’s as simple as taking a walk.
The sun sets so early now. At 5:30pm, the sunset begins. The days are getting shorter and shorter. It makes me feel as if I don’t want to do much of anything; I would rather sit around and fall asleep on the couch than do anything else. Activities are more difficult now.
Some people who are diagnosed with bipolar disorder also struggle with seasonal affective disorder or seasonal pattern. Basically, this happens during the winter when there is less light (the sunsets much earlier) and the weather changes. Individuals are more likely to go through depressive episodes during the winter.
It feels as if all I do is eat, sleep, blog, and go to doctor appointments. At least I have a vacation coming up. So the next couple weeks, I’ll add in packing to my list of crap that has to get done. Of course, since I’m going back east and I’ve gained some weight, making me more self-conscious than normal, I probably need to find some new, warmer clothes.
I went through my closet today to find some winter clothes, and it didn’t go as bad as I thought. I found five sweaters and one long-sleeved shirt that fit, which is more than I thought I would find. Over the next two weeks, I’m going to go shopping to find some more long-sleeved shirts. I generally don’t like to go shopping because I hate trying things on that are too small, but I go when I have to. To possibly avoid clothes being too small, I pick things out that are a size bigger than I think I am; that usually works out well for me.
I just realized that Thanksgiving is right around the corner! It’s next Thursday, November 24th. I don’t even know where I will be spending the holiday this year. My husband’s family take turn hosting holidays, thank goodness my house is too small to host a big holiday like that. I’m going to miss being at my aunt’s house for Thanksgiving. I always loved it so much; it was the perfect amount of love, laughter, family, and nuttiness. I know all of that will be at Thanksgiving at my in-law’s house, but it won’t be the same as what I grew up with.
It’s time that I start preparing for the holiday. I need to find out where it is and who might be coming. I just want to know how big the holiday celebration will be. I want to prepare myself as much as possible so I can have a good time at Thanksgiving dinner. The more I know, the more comfortable I may feel.
It’s November and the weather is finally cool enough that I can take out some long-sleeved shirts and sweaters (I live in Peoria, AZ, right by Phoenix). The high temperature is around 85 degrees and the low is in the 50’s. This means I have to go through my closet, put away my tank tops and most of my t-shirts, and take my warmer clothes out. Especially since I’m traveling to Connecticut in less than 3 weeks; I’ll definitely need warm clothes for that. I’ve gained weight, so I hope some of my winter clothes still fit.
I like the winter weather here in Arizona, but I do miss the snow that you get back east. During the Phoenix, AZ summer, there’s almost nothing you can do. I can’t even walk my dog until 9pm because his feet would burn on the sidewalk. I’m not a fan of the hot weather, I don’t think most people like it. But this is the best time to be in Arizona. You can do just about anything you want to, indoors or outdoors.
I know that the time changed recently for everyone else (Arizona doesn’t change times because we already get enough sun). It’s confusing, but you get used to it. I hope that I take advantage of the weather and do more outdoor activities than I normally do. I could do things as simple as grilling outdoors, or walking the dog more often. We’ll see what happens.
I hate stigma. It makes me feel as if I’m nothing or dangerous. I’ll explain. My husband and I record a lot of TV shows. For one of the TV shows, we hadn’t yet watched any of the episodes, so some days we watch multiple episodes back to back. It’s this show that started last year, Secrets and Lies (heads up, spoiler alerts). I was all good with it, until close to the end of the first season. They find psychiatric medications in the woman’s house, Risperdone and Lithium. Then the guy that found the meds looks them up and of course it shows only the negative information about bipolar disorder. It shows information about psychosis and how individuals can go into violent rages when their meds are not level or when they’re off medication.
Maybe there are some people who do go into violent rages when struggling with medication, but that’s not how it goes for everyone. Every person is different and I don’t like it when TV or movies show individuals with bipolar with the most extreme effects. There are probably a lot of people out there that don’t realize that they are only showing the most extreme circumstances. There are people out there that know nothing about bipolar disorder until they see it shown on TV and in movies. It’s stuff like this that gives bipolar disorder and other mental health disorders a bad name.
I looked up the word stigma to see what it says and I found that it says, ‘a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person.’ When bipolar disorder is shown on TV or in movies, it is usually shown in a disgraceful manner. I wonder if this will ever change.
My Side of the Pole 