An Unexpected Family Gathering

I was at the movies with my husband yesterday when his aunt called twice in a row. Thinking it was an emergency, he stepped outside to answer the phone. It turns out that our cousins were in town for one day and they were having a get-together. However, it seems that we were the only two that weren’t told the day and time of the gathering. Our aunt was calling to see if we were going to come to the party; she said that everyone else already arrived. My husband and I discussed it and decided that it was best to go over there to see everyone, especially the ones that are in town for only a day (we really like them and rarely get to visit).

We left the theater after seeing only the first 20 minutes of the movie. We arrived and realized that even our step-kids were there. It doesn’t matter that we weren’t informed about the party. Everyone makes mistakes and forgets to inform everyone. I looked around and realized that there were 21 people at this gathering. I found a spot where my back was to the wall and I started visiting with family. For the most part, it went pretty well. I even got some time to play with my granddaughter; she is growing up so quickly.

We only stayed about 2 hours. I wanted to leave sooner, but my husband was engaged in conversation with family that he doesn’t see as often as he wants. So I found another seat where I was comfortable and waited for him to be done talking to people. I made it through my time there and even had some good (maybe even great) conversations with people. I wished we knew about the party earlier, so I could prepare myself for it, but it worked out no matter what.

Christmas Celebration Begins Already

With the holidays just around the corner, there are a lot of family gatherings and obligations I have to uphold. They family stuff starts today. We’re going to a church to see a musical theater Christmas production with my father-in-law. I may not be a big fan of holidays and churches, but I definitely love the theater. My father-in-law and his girlfriend have invited us to this event for several years and this is the first time we are able to go. I expect to have a lot of anxiety leading up to this event, but once I’m there and in my seat I will feel much better.

We have several gatherings to attend over the next 8 or 9 days. Some I’m more excited about that others. I wish that some of the people we saw on Christmas or Christmas Eve were my side of the family, but I know that’s not possible. I did just spend a week back in Connecticut with my family, but I always miss every single person when the holidays come around.

My Food Was Good Yesterday

I did well yesterday with my food. I don’t know why, but the hardest time for me is right before bed. That’s when I want to snack, even when I’m not hungry. It sucks, because I make it through the entire day and then struggle late at night. Today I’m going to the grocery store so I can buy everything I need for my block food plan. I’ve used that meal plan to lose weight before and it worked wonderfully.

My husband and I took a walk yesterday to Walmart to buy a Christmas gift for our granddaughter. It was about 2.5 miles round trip. We’re going to try walking more. We would love to do it every day, but we’re trying to be realistic. It sucks that we can’t bring the dog with us on long walks. He gets tired pretty easily; he’s 11 years old and needs to take it easy. Either way, I think I’m off to a good start.

Headed Home To Arizona

My husband and I are on our way back home to Phoenix. We’re in Philadelphia on our 3 hour layover. I don’t really want to go back to Phoenix. I never have enough time in Connecticut with my family no matter how long I’m there for. Maybe I should stay for two weeks the next time I go. I would like to stay long enough that I actually want to go back to Phoenix.

The party for my mom’s birthday went wonderfully. Everyone was thanking me for putting it all together, but I couldn’t have done it without everyone else. It was a potluck, so the majority of the food came from the guests. The only thing I made was quiche and I ordered an edible arrangement (which was definitely a big hit). I liked organizing the party because I always had something to do. I didn’t have to worry about conversations with other people since I was always moving.

I had a few great visits with my grandmother. She’s 91 years old and is doing very well. I love the fact that I can speak openly with her. She does her best to understand my limitations. It’s nice that she things of my husband as well. Sometimes our conversations are weird and don’t make sense, but when they are fantastic when they do.

I got to visit with my brother and his wife. I always enjoy talking to him. Our relationship has improved over the years. I also visited with my sister and her husband. That went well. She and I both work at our relationship; it’s a tense relationship, but it’s there. We will be okay as long as we keep working at it. Her kids are growing up so quickly. I love seeing them any chance I get. I spent some time with my aunt, who I get along with very well and enjoy talking to.

There was a lot more that we did over the past week. We got a Christmas tree, decorated a bit, visited with some friends, helped my aunt out with her party, finished a jigsaw puzzle (I love doing those), and wrapped a bunch of Christmas presents. I went through a lot of Valium, much more than I normally do, but still not as much as I’m prescribed. Since I didn’t have the time to post every day like I normally do, I guess that’s a basic overview of the past week. I missed posting every day and I’m excited to get back to my regular schedule.

A Quick Check-In

So far, we have been going non-stop. We have gotten a lot done and have still have lots more to do. I haven’t had much time to check in here. I had a couple of minutes, so I thought I would say hello. Today and tomorrow will be very busy days. I get to see my aunt today and tomorrow is the party for my mom. My day is already off to a good start. My husband just came downstairs and gave me a kiss and a neck massage; that always makes me feel special.

Arrived In Connecticut

I made it to Connecticut without any problems. I like traveling with my husband; it’s so much easier than traveling by myself. He helps me feel comfortable and safe when I’m in the airport and on the plane. I’m so happy to be back home with my family, even if it’s just for a week. I will be spending time with everyone; there’s lots to do. I already got to see several people, and I’ve only been here for half a day. I’m hoping it snows at least once while I’m here. I would love for my husband to be able to see and experience that.

I always call Connecticut my home. Even though I live in Arizona now, and have for many years, Connecticut will always be my home. However, it does get confusing, because I call Arizona my home as well. They’re just different types of homes.

I may not be posting as much as I normally do because I’ve got lots to do. I want to spend as much time with my family as possible. I’m still here, just not as much.

Invited To Another Event

As if there weren’t already enough things to go to, I was invited to go to a graduation for a cousin. We just had Thanksgiving, then on Sunday I have a family reunion, then I travel for a week, then there’s a friend’s birthday party, and then we celebrate Christmas at two different places. Isn’t that enough to do? Plus, this graduation is an overnight event, and my husband wouldn’t be able to go.

When I was invited, I just said that I would have to check to see what’s going on at that time. I have to figure out how to say no. It should be okay to say no, that I have too much going on, but it makes me very nervous for some reason. I think it would be better to say no, than to go away for a couple of days without my husband and have anxiety attacks.

Very Productive

Yesterday was such a busy day, I didn’t get home until around 11pm. We got a lot done. My husband and I both got haircuts; it had been over a year since I got my hair cut. I kept putting it off out of fear. I was afraid to have someone standing behind me with scissors, and I couldn’t remember anywhere I had previously cut my hair. After that, we dealt with some car insurance stuff that had to get done. My husband had his tires rotated. We went shopping for some warmer clothes to wear while we are back east. We visited with my mother-in-law for a little while. We spent a couple of hours getting new phones. And finally, we spent some time at a friend’s house. Overall, it was a busy day, and I’m exhausted.

It was nice to get so much done, but it would have been easier if we spread it out a little more. Tomorrow, I have an appointment with my therapist, then a chest x-ray. Then I get to see my granddaughter at my mother-in-law’s house. I can’t wait to see her. I will only be staying a couple of hours. I need some time for me, some time to rest.

Bipolar and Seasonal Disorder

The sun sets so early now. At 5:30pm, the sunset begins. The days are getting shorter and shorter. It makes me feel as if I don’t want to do much of anything; I would rather sit around and fall asleep on the couch than do anything else. Activities are more difficult now.

Some people who are diagnosed with bipolar disorder also struggle with seasonal affective disorder or seasonal pattern. Basically, this happens during the winter when there is less light (the sunsets much earlier) and the weather changes. Individuals are more likely to go through depressive episodes during the winter.

Is It My Personality?

I often wonder what I can do to help my mental health. For example, my therapist wants me to stand up for myself and say no more often. It has me thinking, isn’t it a part of my personality, of who I am, the fact that I have a hard time saying no? Is my bipolar disorder a part of my personality or vise versa? Am I supposed to change my personality to improve my mental health?

I know there are some things that need or needed change. Twelve years ago, I stopped drinking and using drugs, which was extremely difficult. That improved both my mental and physical health. It was my activities that I changed, not my personality. I suppose that it’s not so much what I do, but how I do and handle it. I’m not sure if any of this makes much sense, but they are the thoughts that are wandering around in my mind the past couple days.

My Side of the Pole

Bipolar – Mental Health

Tag: Activities