Tag: Bipolar

Problems Filling A Prescription

Problems Filling A Prescription

This is the third time in a row that I’m having problems getting my Clozapine prescription filled. The lab automatically faxes my blood test results to the pharmacy, but for some reason, the pharmacy cannot find them. Yesterday, the pharmacy told me they didn’t have the results without even knowing my name. Then I told them my name and said that the test results normally go straight into my file. Less than a minute later I was told again that they don’t have the test results.

I called the lab and left a message for them asking them to resend my blood work to the pharmacy. Today, I will call the lab again just to make sure they got my message, and then I will call the pharmacy again. If I’m still having difficulties, then I will just show up at the pharmacy and ask to speak to the pharmacist. I really wish it wasn’t this difficult getting my Clozapine script filled.

A Full Night’s Sleep

A Full Night’s Sleep

For the past two nights, I’ve finally been sleeping and staying in bed all night long. For the past month or so, I would wake up after being asleep for only an hour or so. Then, I would come out on the couch and attempt to sleep. Sometimes it would work and sometimes it wouldn’t. But the last two nights I finally got a full night’s sleep. I think it’s even helping me feel better during the day.

I’m still having weird dreams. I remember them when I wake up, but then I forget them after a few minutes, just like I forget everything else. I wish my memory would start improving soon. I feel uncomfortable around people because I’m afraid I’m going to ask them the same thing multiple times. I don’t want to bother people. I’m just doing the best that I can.

Feeling Sad In The Rain

Feeling Sad In The Rain

It doesn’t rain much in Phoenix. When it does rain, it’s weird. For example, it can rain on one side of the street but not on the other side. I tend to feel a little more depressed than normal when it rains. I think that may be part of Seasonal Affective Disorder. Since it doesn’t snow in Phoenix, rain is the closest we get to winter storms.

From mid-June until the end of September, Phoenix has what it calls monsoon season. That’s when we get about half of our yearly rainfall. It still rains outside of those dates, just not as much. It has been raining/sprinkling a lot this past week. I don’t like to go out in the rain, neither does my dog. So I stay in, even more than normal, which just adds to the depression. To get Cash to go outside, I have to put a jacket and boots on him. He hates getting wet. I have to force myself to get up and get out of the house. It’s not easy, but I know it’s not healthy to stay in all day every day.

Two New Meds

Two New Meds

Today, I start two new medications. They are Donepezil (Aricept) and Memantine (Namenda). Both of these medications are meant to treat the memory loss that goes along with Alzheimer’s and dementia. I’m taking it because of the severe memory loss that I experienced the last time I did ECT. I’ve only been doing ECT again for the past two weeks, and I’m already experiencing some memory loss and cognitive changes. I’m trying to stay positive about starting these two new medications. I’m hopeful that they will help with the memory problems.

I’m not a fan of adding new medications to my already huge list of meds. However, if the new medications can help fix a difficult side effect of the ECT treatments,  then I am 100% willing to try them out. I’ll try the meds for a couple of months, and if they don’t help out, then I will stop them.

Medication For Memory Loss

Medication For Memory Loss

I’ve only had two ECT treatments so far and my memory is already getting worse. I’m already forgetting where I put things, what movies I’ve seen, and other normal day-to-day things. Last night, I made a to-do list for all of the things I have to do today; however, I’m looking at my list and I don’t know what everything means. I wrote Cigna on my list, but I have no clue what I’m supposed to do with that. Neither me or my husband is insured by Cigna. I’m hoping that eventually it will come to me.

My psychiatrist started me on medication for Alzheimer’s. He prescribed two medications. One is Donepezil, which I will start tonight. The other prescription is not ready yet. I’m hoping that these new meds will help with my memory loss.

Not Celebrating Valentine’s Day

Not Celebrating Valentine’s Day

I’m not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. My husband and I don’t really celebrate it. We will probably say “Happy Valentine’s day and I love you” but that’s all. No gifts. I don’t think there needs to be a designated day where we tell people we love them. My husband and I tell each other, “I love you” every day, which I’m very grateful for.

We are going to my mother-in-law’s house for a family get-together this afternoon. My step-daughter and  my husband’s aunt both have birthdays today. I can’t wait to see my granddaughter. She’s walking now!

My First Time Back To ECT

My First Time Back To ECT

Today was my first time back to ECT. It really helped to have my husband there because I was pretty nervous. Everything went really well. I remember the doctor putting in my IV and then they put me to sleep. The next thing I know, they are bringing me out in a wheelchair. I don’t remember waking up in recovery at all. I’m in a little bit of pain, but not too horrible. It’s just my jaw that hurts, no headache or anything.

My next session is on Wednesday. It should have been on Friday, but the doctor is not there that day. So I had to move around a couple of other appointments to make everything work. I think the next time will be easier for me since I now know all of the doctors and nurses.

Anxious and Nervous

Anxious and Nervous

I leave for ECT in about one hour. Last night I kept having dreams that I ate or drank something after midnight, therefore, I couldn’t do the ECT treatment. I had the same type of dream 3 times last night. The first one I drank a soda, the second one I ate a chocolate sprinkled donut, and the last one I had a glass of milk. I know I’m nervous about this treatment; that’s probably why that was happening.

I can feel my heart beating in my chest. My fingers are shaking, which is making it difficult to type. I’m rocking back and forth, which is one of the ways I help keep myself calm. I did it without even realizing it. I can do this. I can do this.

Staying Busy

I’ve been doing my best to stay busy today. I’m trying to make the day go by as fast as possible. I even did a quick Zumba workout, which I’m very proud of. I need to workout on a regular schedule. When I got out of the shower, I noticed that the dog ripped out another one of his stitches. It was also on his back leg. I think that’s the only place he can reach. I cleaned it up and he’s all set now. Hopefully he won’t get to any more. The stitches come out on Thursday.

I’m nervous about ECT tomorrow, but I’m also ready for it. I will let you all know how it goes. I think it will work, I just don’t know how long it will take to start working. I can’t remember how long it took last time. I’m really excited about the possibility of not being depressed and thinking nonstop about suicide. I really need the relief.

Restarting ECT

Restarting ECT

I restart ECT again on Monday. It’s been over six months since my last treatment. I’ve been waiting for about a month to restart ECT, and now that it’s about to happen, I’m not sure if I’m ready. At least I’ve done it before, so it’s not as nerve-racking. My anxiety is so high right now. What do I do if ECT doesn’t work? I know there are other options, but there’s not many left. I’m just nervous and scared. It will work. I’m trying to stay positive.

Apparently, ECT is twice as effective when being used with Clozapine, and even more effective when being used with Clozapine and Lithium. I’m take both Clozapine and Lithium (and many other meds), so there’s a really good chance that this will work for me. I’m trying to stay positive. It’s not easy, but I’m working at it.

They also changed how some of it goes. They now allow one person to go back with you, stay with you until you go under, and then they can wait for you in recovery. That makes it a lot easier for me. My husband already said he will be doing that for me on Monday.